Too Little Too Late

the appropriate use of social networking sites

2009-04-28T12:57:00.000-07:00

With all the opportunities to network out there (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc), I've started to notice they are all starting to blend together. Either that, or people are mistaking one for another. For example, I was recently on someone's LinkedIn page where they had listed their full date of birth (why) and marital status (single...so what??). Why would anyone on LinkedIn care about those things? That is why we have Facebook. I also saw on someone's twitter page that they described themselves as "a lawyer who enjoys cooking, traveling and long walks on the beach." Seems a little too personal and detailed for Twitter. That's why we have match.com. Or maybe each site is appropriate for all uses and I'm just spending too much time on all of them and can no longer differentiate which site is for what.

2yrs -- a new record!!

2009-03-31T13:52:00.000-07:00

As of today, I've officially lived in Chicago for two years, which is a new record for me...sad, I know. Some of my friends here have lived here since graduating college and in that time I've lived in more places than I can count (okay, fine, technically four and yes I can count to four).

I thought in honor of breaking my record, I'd devote a post to the cities I've loved and left (or hated and left).

Post-college I went back to NH, jobless. I proceeded to slack off until the end of July, when I found myself with not one, but three jobs. Prior to July, I did a whole lot of nothing: applied for jobs at ad agencies that had no interest in my resume, drove to Miami and back (alone, no less) and finally got a part-time job at a video store (where I got asked out by a guy who was renting a porno -- but that's a story for a different day). I also went back to the grocery store I'd worked at through most of high school and all of college. The last job I got was as a receptionist at a radio station. I moved out of my mom & step dad's to an apartment an hour away, which made my daily commute total hell, but was an important step to make.

I. Was. Miserable.

I had little free time because I was working so much and the free time I did have was spent at the bars in Portsmouth. Note about the guys in Portsmouth -- most of them think they're hot shit and therefore act accordingly. News flash: most of them were total tools. I quickly lost interest in going out and opted to spend many weekends either working or doing nothing.

Determined to work in sports, I quit both part-time jobs and started working at an unpaid internship at an af2 team. Meanwhile, I was promoted to traffic manager at the radio station but wanted out of NH immediately if not sooner. It was just never a place I saw myself long term. Always the city girl, I was determined to make it to a big one eventually.

Around March of '04, I started applying for internships at athletic media relations departments at DI schools. I got one response. From Villanova -- which is WHY I am completely obsessed with the basketball team. Prior to working there, I was a football girl and could not have cared less about bball. It didn't even REALLY start to seep into my blood until we started conference play. Early that season, when we lost to TEMPLE by like, two points, I couldn't understand why everyone was so upset. Cut to me, still BITTER about the bullshit traveling call against Allan Ray vs. UNC in the 2005 Sweet 16. This is why I had such a hard time watching last Saturday's Elight 8 game vs. Pitt and is why I'll have a hard time watching the National Semifinal vs. UNC on Saturday. Villanova bball is in my blood. My favorite memory is sitting on the floor for the Kansas game when they were No. 2 and undefeated and we beat them by 21 points. It snowed over a foot that day and took us three hours to drive from the Wachovia Center to the office, which was normally 20 minutes.

I vowed that day that I'd never again live somewhere that snowed. Well, that backfired.

After my internship ended in May of '05, I was off to San Diego. I stayed there just under 2 yrs, (one year and ten months to be exact) and I HATED it. HATED. First off, I wanted to live close to work, so I lived in a suburb about 45 minutes from downtown. With no reasonable means of public transit, it was hard to get to and from downtown unless you drove. I worked two jobs and again found myself with little free time. Something about where I was just didn't click. I did meet some amazing people though and of course once I found out I was moving to Chicago, really started to enjoy myself. When I think back about my time there, I think about going to the Lamplighter on Sundays and singing karaoke with Gus & AMay. I will forever be grateful for experience there as I learned a lot about myself. It just wasn't the place for me to stay long term.

But Chicago....oh how Chicago has become the love of my life. Since the day I've moved here, I've felt 100% at home. I've met people who quickly became some of my best friends. I've had the best time. I've stood on a roof top looking at the skyline and have never been happier. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

What I've learned so far

2008-12-04T15:28:00.000-08:00

As I've been hunting for a job, I've quickly figured out that the economy really IS that bad. Even though I've only been unemployed for a day over two weeks, I'm in full blown panic mode. The only thing that keeps me going during the day when I'm apparently submitting resumes into a black hole is the reruns of 90210 on the Soap Network.

I have to say, that show is pretty ridiculous. Some observations/thoughts:

1) First of all, can we take down the Tori worship just a smidge? I know her dad created the show, but they created this Donna character that can do no wrong and is also a little too forgiving. Throw her down the stairs? No problem. Steal money from her? She'll probably marry you in the series finale anyway. The only flaw they give her is having shitty SAT scores and even that doesn't do much. She still gets the benefit of the doubt every freakin time. I want to smack her.

2) So this Valerie character is a big wench, but she also has to shoulder all the blame. Why don't the GUYS ever get blamed? Everyone and his father cheats on his significant other with Val. The guys are forgiven and Val is hated that much more. Why, the episode this morning where Donna, Kelly, Claire and Val go on a road trip, take a wrong turn, have their car break down and wind up spending the night in a convent is a perfect example. Val admits to sleeping with Ray and instead of being upset with Ray, Donna and the rest of them just gang up on Val, who also kissed Colin, Kelly's boyfriend, but Kelly and Colin only break up much later on account of his cocaine addiction but not because he cheated on her.

3) I highly doubt ANYONE's college experience was like theirs at good old "California University," (which is supposedly one of the best colleges in the country HA and I think was filmed on Loyola Marymount's campus but I digress). Half of them at one point or another own the Peach Pit After Dark, Ray gets signed from singing there (also b/c Donna's rich parents know record execs), Kelly doesn't get thrown out for aforementioned cocaine habit, goes to rehab and still manages to graduate on time? They go on cruises. They all drive BMW's or the like. Please. Not realistic. Maybe for southern Cal it is realistic for some people, but for everyone? I think not.

4) That beach apartment Kelly & Donna live in. Rent has to be at least...oh I don't know, $4000 a month at LEAST for a 3-br on the beach. Like normal parents would agree to pay for that.

5) they recycle houses -- the Walsh house eventually becomes Steve & Janet's, that chick Hilary Swank plays lives in a house that eventually becomes David's -- how much more incestuous can that show get? Everyone already sleeps with everyone else (David & Donna, David & Claire, David & Val, David and what's her name, Dylan and Val, Dylan and what's her name -- you know who I'm talking about..GINA, that's it, Steve & Kelly, Steve & Val, Steve & Claire, Kelly & Colin, Kelly & Dylan, Val & Colin, I actually have a headache). And they all have messy breakups and are all miraculously still friends? I'm confused.

6) the soap channel is clearly not showing these in order. and I clearly need a life.

Massive Fail

2008-11-23T08:12:00.001-08:00

So, I got laid off on Wednesday. I saw it coming, and at the same time I didn't see it coming. On Monday, my BlackBerry completely "died." I'm wondering now if they just deactivated it? Can you do that? I'm not sure. But tech ignored my repeated requests to have it fixed. In the past, when they've done that, my boss has often followed up with me to make sure someone was helping me. She didn't do that this time. So I first assumed I was getting fired. Then, on Wednesday, I came in and a source from our Philly office told me they were laying off 30 people that day.

I decided to prepare myself for the worst. Around 4:45, the worst came, in the form of an email requesting my presence in the conference room. At that point, I knew I was a goner. I think it is a bad sign when you're excited about getting laid off -- I mean, ideally I would have stayed there until finding a new job to have the steady paycheck and health insurance. The actual layoff sucks because it screws me financially (except I did get severance, which will at least pay rent, etc for December), but I was otherwise THRILLED. I was completely miserable and completely drowning and I think they knew that.

They did it at the end of the day and told me I could just leave, so I did, without wrapping anything up (though honestly, that would have taken days). I'm still kind of in shock that I don't have my job. I've always tried to put myself in a position where I was indispensable to a company and CLEARLY did not do that here.

I have NO clue how they redistributed my work, though it really isn't my problem.

This is this time to reevaluate my career path. I'm starting to think maybe it doesn't involve advertising. I've applied for a bunch of administrative related positions at both Rush and NW Memorial. Don't have a clue what I want to do, but since advertising relies on a thriving economy, and this economy most definitely isn't, there is basically a hiring freeze over the industry and I'm not in the position to be able to wait that out. It is such a volatile industry, which sucks. I mean, I guess if I really loved it, that wouldn't matter to me, but I don't love it. I thought I would, but the industry is a monster, agencies are ruthless, you have to have a super strong back bone and be willing to work crazy hours with little reward or appreciation. I don't mind working a lot but would at least like my efforts to be appreciated.

Anyway, enough of this. I'm going to enjoy spending the next week with my family. Of course I'll job search, but if my niece wants to fall asleep on me for two hours again like she did yesterday (in which case I'd only have one arm available), that would be just fine.

Weekend in Madison

2008-11-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

My friend Liz celebrated her birthday yesterday (11/15) and so Liz, SG, Forsie and I drove up to Madison on Friday afternoon to spend the weekend in her college town and watch the Minnesota game. My roommate Steph, also a Wisco alumn, joined us in Madtown Saturday afternoon.

We arrived in Madison Friday evening and checked in to the hotel. We were staying right off State St, which was super convenient, and so went and ate dinner by the hotel before moving on to an interesting bar hopping excursion. You'll have to forgive my complete lack of memory of the names of the bars except for one (Crave), because frankly, the night was a blur. I think we went to four bars. So the first bar we went to was pretty chill. We sat by the window and had a drink, and then went on to bar #2, Crave. Crave is a martini bar. Our bartender was pretty hot (and was probably only 21 but that's irrelevant). I decided I would ask him how dirty a dirty martini was, alas I did not yet have enough liquid courage. And my dirty martini was barely dirty because all I could taste was vodka.

The DJ at that bar gets major props for claiming to not have Whitney Houston's, "I Wanna Dance with Somebody," and then playing it immediately. Yes, I requested it, move on.

Bar three was another quick outing, because that one is also a blur, but then we arrive at bar four, where I wind up meeting this random dude from Minneapolis who asked me to meet him in Vegas next weekend. I was like, umm, sorry have plans. Also he was significantly older than me. His friend told me they graduated from college in 1991. I'm no math major, but I think that puts him in the 39 range. He was nice though and his friend was trying really hard to be his wing man, unfortunately he scared off all my friends and they wound up talking to a group of undergrads instead of the 40+ crowd. Random dude was clearly the youngest in his group.

We ended the night after bar four and crashed. Random dude was not happy about this. Oh well.

Saturday morning we got up, got brunch, some U of W apparel and then went back to the hotel to wait for Steph. When she got there, we walked over to the Stadium Bar, right next to Camp Randall (not to be confused with Doak Campbell, because for some reason I find those two names similar even though they aren't).

What I didn't realize is that we'd spend most of the game watching outside, as the bar converted the parking lot into a huge screening area, complete with two bars, which was cool but also freezing. We went inside a couple times to thaw off but wound up having to go back outside both times because it was so crowded you couldn't move.

At one point, Minnesota scored, and a very rowdy, drunk fan in front of us voiced her enthusiasm and then turned around to see Liz glaring at her.

Minnesota Fan: You look like you're thinking "fuck you!"
Liz: Pretty much
Me: TODAY IS LIZ'S BIRTHDAY! (I made this statement to avoid further uncomfortable trash talking, which turned out to be a grave mistake on my part).
MF: OH MY GOD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HERE IS A WISCONSIN COOZIE, I'M A LESBIAN.

--Okay, so I am paraphrasing the above, but that is pretty much what happened. She was there with her girlfriend and two other guys. She made us guess who was older between her and her girlfriend, and then claimed that she was 12 yrs older at 44. Two things: she looked horrible for 44 and there was NO WAY her girlfriend was younger than 39. So when she announces that her and her girlfriend were 12 yrs apart, I go, "oh so your girlfriend is only 18?" just to be nice, b/c age was apparently a big issue for her, and she was like, OMG I love you, I'll give you free dental work for life and pay you $40,000 a year to live with me in Minneapolis." I was like, ummm, I'll pass? She was apparently a dentist and was telling us about how she gave herself Botox injections.

Of course SG, Forsie and Liz are getting a kick out of this and kind of move off to the side, leaving me to fend for myself. MF's girlfriend was getting really pissed off at this point and I was like, yeah my BOYFRIEND is awesome. BOYFRIEND. AWESOME.

So I don't have a boyfriend, that's irrelevant.

Anyway, MF and her friends wind up leaving to go to the stadium, thank goodness.

Throughout the game, Steph kept running into a bunch of people that she knew, one of whom lives by Fenway Park and so I informed him that I would be visiting him next baseball season so he could take me to a Red Sox game. Even though he is a Yankees fan. Which is unacceptable. (Unless you are HF, which he is not.)

After the game (which Wisco won!!), we walked to the Union on campus, which serves beer, and sat by the fireplace to thaw out. We wanted to eat dinner at the Great Dane but when we got there they told us it would be a two hour wait, so we wound up at some other random restaurant.

That restaurant was fun except our waiter hated us and the food was not that good (example: we ordered cheese curds as an appetizer because I'd never had them before and they were basically mini mozarella sticks, which is apprently not how they are supposed to look/taste).

And our waiter literally did hate us. We're not sure why. But he kept asking us if we wanted our check. And after we paid we were there for at least another hour and he kept walking by and glaring at us.

We made some new friends with the guys at the next table though. They were super fun. Though the cutest one was married (of course).

We were at dinner for quite a while and then made our way back to the hotel around 12:30am. At this point, I'm ready to crash as I feel like someone has put my stomach through a paper shredder (not alcohol related, I actually didn't drink that much -- I think the amount of stress I've had over the past couple of months is giving me a bleeding ulcer or a hernia or something that makes it impossible for me to eat sometimes).

Liz, SG, Forsie and Steph ventured back out and I'm told the remainder of the evening went something like this:

They went to a bar to meet up with some of Steph's college friends and then to an after party. People started rolling back to the hotel around 2:30.

I'm told one guy at the party (wearing a Columbia jacket, if that matters) was cutting "sugar" with a credit card and that type of thing is common for Madison, which surprised me.

Today we headed back to Chicago early as it is about a three hour drive, but not before getting some food.

For some reason, the movie The Land Before Time came up in the car and the convo went something like the following:

Me: Wasn't there a character named Sarah in that movie?
SG: Yeah I think so, she was a bitch!
Forsie: She was a human, wasn't she?
Liz: Umm, that movie is about dinosaurs, there aren't humans in it.
Me: SG, I'm going to start calling you triceratops!!
(I was convinced the character Sarah in that movie was a triceratops)
SG: Please don't.

Overall, it was a highly successful weekend.

So, to recap:
Top 10 Quotes from the Weekend:

10) If you snore, I'll never speak to you again!
9) Are you eye fucking him??
8) Here's a present. I'm a lesbian.
7) Oh look! Better people!
6) Drink five glasses of water....peace out bitches!!
5) I give myself botox when I'm drunk!
4) I thought maybe it was sugar!!
3) He's so hot, I want to ask him if he was in my ceramics class.
2) The Land Before Time doesn't have humans in it, it is a movie about DINOSAURS.
1) Do NOT Irish Goodbye me!!

For those of you not familiar with an "Irish Goodbye" it is when you leave a group event without telling anyone. Our one rule for the weekend was that they were not allowed. We were pretty successful enforcing that. SG and I had never heard of that until I was bitching in the car about how it happened on Halloween and Forsie informed us that there was an actual term.

It was my first time to Madison and I greatly enjoyed it...I'd love to go back in the summer and enjoy the lakes.

been a while...

2008-11-02T15:57:00.000-08:00

So I haven't blogged in forever. I kind of ran out of things to say that I didn't have to censor. I go through phases where I wonder why I even bother. Since I last blogged:

-My stepsister Amy got married. She and Tim tied the knot on Sept 13th in Boston. The weather sucked the day before & after, however the day of the wedding was gorgeous and the ceremony took place as the sun began to set over the city. It was outside, along the Charles River. Could not have asked for better weather or a better time.

-Two days later, my niece Kiera was born. I haven't met her yet but will be able to finally see her in about three weeks and cannot wait.

-Work got insane. Fourth quarter is our busiest time, and while I haven't been traveling I've still been crazy busy.

-Went home for Bri's wedding on Oct 12th. Again, the weather was perfect. Though the wedding was not outside, they took lots of pics outside and it was a perfect fall day.

-It is now pitch black at 5pm b/c of DST. So depressing.

-I've lost almost all interest in football, both college and NFL. Mostly b/c of Tom Brady's season ending injury, I focused entirely on baseball. I cannot think of two teams I care about less actually winding up in the World Series.

-Been battling inner demons per usual. Show emotion = fail. Don't show emotion = fail. Clearly cannot win either way.

-Finally joined a gym (yesterday) as my membership at Bally's ran out and I REFUSE to ever have a three-year gym contract again. Must work out at least 3x/week to rid myself of 6-month pregnancy gut. This would be less problematic if I'd actually given birth recently...or at all, for that matter.

-Refused to see Saw V.

-But did see High School Musical 3. In the theater.

I'd say congrats to the Phillies for winning the World Series, but I wouldn't really mean it.

Richard Nixon and the Sperm Whales

2008-09-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

I've been super bad about writing a) at all or b) anything interesting and then I get blind angry when I think about how Danielle Steel can be published but I can't -- well if I don't write, of course I'll never be published. So, I had a pretty eventful Labor Day weekend, why not start there?

This year was four days of fun. It actually kicked off Thursday night with the CIMA boat cruise. I went with my co-workers and feel bad because I kind of wound up disappearing (aka ditching them) when I ran into this guy I know, John, who was on my softball team and who I was convinced hated me because I suck so badly at softball that every time I struck out I thought he was going to kick me off the team. Anyway. We wound up talking for a while, he was there by himself, and when the boat docked I ran and got a cab to Justin's on Southport to meet up with Brandon to celebrate his new job.

He was there with his friends Scott and Josh, and then Chris showed up, and I kind of jumped him when I saw him (okay not ACTUALLY, calm down) because I was so excited to see him (it had been about two months). We had a good time, nothing too eventful, however I did run into some random dude I'd met the last time I'd been there who a) I couldn't remember and b) kept asking me to have a drink with him and his friends. Umm, yeah, no thanks.

Friday was a hungover day of scrambling to get things done at work so I could ditch out early as Lisa, my BFF, was flying in for the weekend and I wanted to run home and take a quick nap before going to meet Sarah to get her from the airport.

We picked her up at Midway, but not before belting out the soundtrack to Mamma Mia on the way (yes I'm serious, nod politely and move on). Lisa and I went back to my apt to eat and get ready to go out as it was my friend Katie's birthday and we were joining in on the celebration.

We started at Trader Todd's, a karaoke bar in the Wrigleyville area, and it kind of has that tiki bar atmosphere going on. It was expensive ($5 for a Miller Lite??) but we stayed until Katie could sing (p.s girl has an AMAZING voice) and then we decided to go around the corner to Big City (aka Big Shitty). At Big City we ran into Josh (Brandon's friend who had been at Justin's)...and by ran into I mean his roommate came over to hit on one of my friends and then they wound up buying us some shots/beers. At some point we wound up on the dance floor but called it a night around 3:30. My head hit the pillow at 4am and I was out.

On Saturday, Lisa and I got brunch at Dunlay's on Clark and then met up with Sarah to watch the Cubs game at Central and then Cubby Bear. We really wanted to get tickets but the game was sold out because the Cubs are doing well and all those bandwagon fans have to get in their obligatory games. My backup was going to the White Sox game, but oh they were in Boston, so that wasn't an option.

During the game at the CB, someone changed the channel because I'm looking at another TV when all of a sudden I hear Lisa go, "alright, who turned on Baywatch??" So we were kind of watching Baywatch and the Cubs lose at the same time. Not very exciting. At all. We expected more from the Cubby Bear. After the game we went home to shower/change and then went to Sarah's for dinner and then out for my friend Greg's birthday at the Wrightwood Tap, which is the bar in Chicago that I am completely obsessed with. They play awesome music and every time I go there I have a blast.

Sunday we decided to go on an architectural boat cruise. I called Sarah to see if she wanted to go and the convo went something like this:

Reva: Beach is out, boat cruise is in...thoughts?
Sarah: I'm going to the park to read. Peace out bitches!!

Okay, actually, she didn't say that. She said she wanted to read outside because she'd already been on three boat cruises this summer. I paraphrased (a.k.a. completely made up) the last part. But now it is our new favorite joke.

"I'm going to do laundry...peace out bitches!"
"I'm not playing trivial pursuit with you on Saturday (DON'T JUDGE IT IS FUN), peace out bitches!"

Well you get the idea.

So anyway. Our tour guide was literally the dumbest person alive. She started every sentence with, "can you imagine?"

"Can you imagine a cow actually burning down the whole city?"
"Can you imagine Batman running around Chicago last summer?"
"Can you imagine that since the Sears Tower is a bundled steel tube structure, they constructed it out of bundled steel tubes?"

It was still nice to be outside and on the water enjoying the amazing architecture that the city has to offer. It was too bad that Ms. Drinking on the Job had nothing interesting to offer.

After that we went to the Signature Lounge, which is a bar on the 96th floor of the Hancock building. People really just go for the view, which on a clear summer day is worth every terrifying floor in the elevator, up and down (remember my fear of elevators? yeah not getting a job in the Sears or Hancock anytime soon). We went for one drink ($12!!) and then back home to chill and decide on our plan for the evening.

We decided on dinner at Blue Bayou (Cajun) with Sarah and Talia. After dinner we went to SoPo where I wound up running into this guy Mark who I went to U of I with and hadn't seen in five years. I was shocked he remembered my name since it had been so long (I'm pretty sure half of the people I meet forget my name immediately). He's actually working in commerical real estate even though he was an advertising major like me.

SoPo was too loud for us (yes we're getting old apparently) so we decided to go somewhere more low key, which turned out to be Will's, the bar that was my softball sponsor last summer. It is a Green Bay/Badger bar and is always low key, even on Friday nights, so especially on Sunday nights and we were able to just chill and talk for the rest of the evening. Someone, not going to say who, was in love with the bartender, so I have a feeling we'll be back there sometime soon.

On Monday, we went to a BBQ at Harry & Ryan's. We were relaxing for a while, then Sarah, Lisa and I left to go to Midway (boo) and when we returned, Harry, Ryan, Melissa and Matt were playing Euchre. After that we all paired off to play Trivial Pursuit, which got kind of heated towards the end and spawned a name for a new band: Richard Nixon and the Sperm Whales (don't ask, you had to be there).

I wish Katie K had been with us all weekend instead of Atlanta, we all really missed her.

On Tuesday at work, I suspected and then confirmed that one of my friends was in Chicago all weekend and didn't call me, which depending on the person may or may not be a big deal. But for this person not to call me was very upsetting and I also know that they are mad at me and I finally figured out why. I've been told (and I don't think this is a compliment) that I'm good at baiting people (although at the time, I was baiting the person who told me that so maybe they have a point...). I prefer to think of it as effectively knowing ahead of time how they will react to certain statements. Anyway, I kind of baited my "friend" into telling me why they are mad at me, though I don't think they realized that's what was going on. Or if so, didn't care. In my defense, baiting was my only option because when I flat out asked, "why are you mad at me?" they said "quit being a chick," which is not an acceptable answer. If you're going to completely stop talking to me then I am going to think you're mad at me...got it?

Anyway, I have a busy couple of weeks ahead: Amy's wedding is next weekend in Boston and then my sister is going to have her baby, FINALLY. I can't wait to be an aunt and meet her. I bought her a Cubs t-shirt already.

Well, time for bed. Peace out bitches!

there is no hope for me

2008-08-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, we all know I am kind of obsessed with grammar (although I make grammatical errors all the time, I'm sure, and Kate's knowledge puts me to shame). I have to share the below IM convo I had with my friend Susan earlier to kind of highlight the level of my obesession:

susan: lol a spam email just got subject line:
susan: "Britney Spears' vigana attacks marauder and check in to rehab"
reva: lol
reva: geez
susan: at least it's funny :-)
reva: yeah
reva: but the subject/verb agreement is wrong
reva: and vagina is spelled wrong
reva: lol
susan: well I usually don't find them gramatically correct :-)
reva: well I just cant take emails like that seriously ;-)
susan: wait you don't? I do all the time
susan: :-D
reva: hah not that bad
reva: at least you have appropriate s/v agreement

--I think, probably, there is no hope for me.

you make me sick

2008-08-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

So, Saturday night I was trying to catch a cab home around, I don't know, 12:30am or so (so I guess technically it was Sunday morning) when a cab full of drunk guys pulls up to a red light. The guy in the front seat tries to talk to me"

Dude in the front: Baby, you're so hot!
Me: Um, thanks?
Friend in the back: Do you need a ride somewhere?
Me: No
Dude in the front: I'll give you $100 if you show me your boobs.
Me: No
Dude in the front: (pulls $100 bill out of his wallet and holds it out the window) I'm serious!
Me: Still, No

Seriously, did this guy honestly think I was going to lift up my shirt and flash him? And that's another thing, the shirt I happened to be wearing was not revealing at ALL so I don't know why he thought I looked like the kind of girl who would do that.

pet peeves

2008-08-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

So I'd like to outline some things that have been bothering me that I would consider pet peeves, since I don't have much else to talk about.

1) People who either spell my name wrong or ask me if I was named after Reba McIntyre...news flash, you are not original, if I were named after her then my name would be Reba, not Reva, and seriously, how fucking hard is it to spell my name? Especially when I email people and my name is in my email, spelled correctly, and they still misspell it. Jesus.

2) Getting blamed for other people's errors...so we sent out a campaign for a site to publish and they didn't, so I followed up with the site, who said they were missing one tag. One. As in, they sat on the correct tags they had for a week. Then I get a nasty email from the media agency wanting to know how this could have happened. Typo in media plan=your fault. Site not implementing campaign when we sent it=their fault. Not catching typo=my fault...but site not alerting me to the fact that they were missing tag=their fault. Then a different site for a different campaign did the same thing only worse -- ran our competitors tags in our space. As Sarah would say, "You people are incompetent!!"

3) Some airlines now charging a luggage fee: So I need to fly to Boston in Sept and again in Oct for weddings. Air fare is already over $300, why the fuck would I fly on an airline that is going to charge an additional $25 just to check luggage? It is already bad enough they charge you for pretty much everything that used to be free, minus the complimentary non-alcoholic beverages. I'm not a smoker, but what happened to the days of being able to smoke and drink for free when you flew? Now you pay $400 for the flight, $25 to check your luggage, $9 for a package of crackers and some fake cheese and $3 for the headphones to watch a crappy movie like Gold Rush.

4) Sports Illustrated's College Football Preview issue. Featuring Ohio State on the cover because they are apparently going on another title run. Correction: because they are going to go back to the title game and get bitch slapped for the 3rd year in a row. What is it with everyone's hard-on for OSU? Gag me.

5) MySpace: they've added all these lame-ass applications in an attempt to be better than Facebook. It's never going to happen.

6) "Sources": Every time I read People or US Weekly (yes, I read both, yes, I realize they are both trash) every story will cite "sources" for backup, but that's the only word they ever use. According to a "source" Britney Spears does meth, according to a "source" Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer broke up, according to a US Weekly "source" Brangelina conceived their twins via in vitro (which they then told People wasn't true and if it were they would have been happy to discuss). Who are these sources? The hobo who hangs out on Hollywood Blvd? Actually, he probably knows more than anyone!

nothing exciting

2008-08-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is already August. Coming up: Amy's wedding, Miriam's baby (I'm going to have a niece!!), football season (but Spin the Cell Phone has apparently been banned), a possible 2nd Annual Fall into Fall, etc etc etc.

I refuse, however, to believe that summer is almost over. Chicago weather is weird, in fact we had a tornado warning earlier with actual sirens but no touch-down, and I anticipate it will be warm through some part of October. I also refuse to believe that 2009 is approaching. I can't fathom that. I have this internal panic on a daily basis because I feel like when I was 16 I figured I would have accomplished so much more by 27 than I actually have so I need to do something significant -- get published? focus on a career goal? take a writing class? I have no idea. It is kind of overwhelming actually.

I feel the need to be better at something, and don't know where to start. Is 27 too young to write a memoir?

I have the greatest friends...

2008-07-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

After an amazing time in Atlanta with Katie ("WOOOO LET'S BE FRIENDS, MOM & DAD TO YOU REHEARSAL DINNER SLIDE SHOW"), followed up by an amazingly fun visit from Katie to Chicago ("nice boobs, I'm a cancer survivor, wanna make out?"), I would like to share yet another email chain, which makes me feel so grateful for the amazing friends I have. Seriously, they rock. You wish you had them too. (Some parts edited to protect the "innocent")
****************************************************************************************************************************************

From: Melissa
To: Reva; Sarah
Subject: Saturday the 26th
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:37 AM

Hey ladies,

One of my clients is having a huge sale 2 Saturdays from now. From 9-11 you can get 40% off pretty much everything in the store, 11-1 you can get 30% off and 1-3 you can get 20% off. There's a really nice work bag I'd like to get, so you girls want to go right at 9 with me and then maybe grab brunch on Southport and make an afternoon of it?

From: Reva
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 11:42 AM
To: Melissa; Sarah
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

Sure, I'm in!

From: Sarah
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:48 PM
To: Reva; Melissa
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

Fun!! My friend is in town that weekend and I'd love you guys to meet her....was thinking about a Cubbies game though b/c she really wants to see Wrigley, and that's at Noon...can we plan on maybe 9:30a and then brunch or is that obnoxious on a Sat. morning?? If you're opposed we might have to ditch :( Let me know!

From: Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:51 PM
To: Sarah; Reva
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

I'm cool with an early-morning Saturday! Would rather get to the store before it's super crowded anyways!

From: Sarah
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:53 PM
To: Melissa; Reva
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

Awesome!! Reva - I know you're thinking "what kind of a crackhead schedules a sale Saturday morning at 9am," but you better believe I'm dragging your booty out of bed. Consider it done. Where for brunch?? ps - is it sad I'm already thinking about Sat?!

From: Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:56 PM
To: Sarah; Reva
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

Sarah....you do realize that this is not for this Saturday, but rather 2 Saturdays for now as per the subject line, right....?

From: Reva
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:58 PM
To: Melissa; Sarah
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

Yeah, I can't wait until THIS Saturday.
Speaking of... Melissa -- still on for shopping on Thurs? And Sarah, team kitchen is on for Friday night??

From: Sarah
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:58 PM
To: Melissa; Reva
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

HAHA - ok yes, I don't know why I said that. Two Saturdays from now. Got it. Previous emails are still relevant, just discount my thinking about Sat. already.

From: Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:02 PM
To: Sarah; Reva
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

Yes, Reva, we are still on for Thursday, but it has to be right after work, because i'm not working past 5 ever again here :) Except, apparently right now, since it's now 5:02...i have returns to make at Old Navy and H&M so it's perfect.

You kids playing on Friday?

From: Sarah
Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5:03 PM
To: Melissa; Reva
Subject: RE: Saturday the 26th

No, we are working - please come over and help me throw out everything in Reva's room? We are trying to make it "presentable". She will have the necessary alcohol :) yes no?

************************************************************************************

--Sarah is horrified by my room's current state and said I had to do some work on it before Friday, i.e. throw out lots of things. I love the fact that presentable is in quotations.

--We're Team Kitchen because when we helped Melissa move, we packed up her kitchen for her and turned it into a fun project.

--I need Melissa to help me shop for a White Sox game outfit b/c I'm not a fan but want to wear the team colors for the game Saturday.

--We all want Katie to move back from Atlanta.

Completely Unreasonable Called...It Feels Left Out

2008-07-03T13:42:00.000-07:00

Sales tax in Chicago is now 10.25%.

That is all.

Public Service Announcement

2008-07-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

A little wake-up call for everyone (please click link below):

DO NOT TEXT MESSAGE WHILE DRIVING

I have been dumb enough to do this in the past and thank god I never hurt anyone while doing so. I know we all do it and think we're invincible but we're not.

seducing the demon

2008-06-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

I bought Seducing the Demon, by Erica Jong, a memoir that was supposedly about dealing with bad relationships. Instead, the memoir is a total fucking mess. I can't even finish it. It is so scattered, really has no focus, talks WAY too much about Silvia Plath and writing in general. I was kind of hoping for more about the actual relationships, for example her affair with Martha Stewart's husband (which, P.S. she blames on Martha). She doesn't devote much time to any of the relationships that she's in and instead rambles on about nothing. I literally have no idea what she's talking about. I actually just returned the book -- it was so BAD, I have no desire to finish it.

I would love to write a memoir, though I'm not sure it would have a focus at this point (shockingly bad decisions? moving every 3 weeks? being stuck between overachieving siblings?). But rest assured, if I ever do write one, I will not spend the majority of the first half trying to interpret Sylvia Plath's suicide.

Facebook Stalking

2008-06-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

Social networking sites are fun. Thanks to My Space and Facebook, I'm able to "keep in touch" with people who I literally have not talked to since 1999. I get lots of crap for having so many friends on both sites (like, do I actually KNOW all 383 people I'm friends with on Facebook? Probably not). But it is nice to have the option to see what people are up to these days and contact them if necessary.

But parts of these sites can also be not fun...like the Facebook stalk.

Ahhh the Facebook stalk. Everybody does it. How many times a day do you get an IM/Email/Text saying, "check out so & so's Facebook page/wall/latest photo album where they are now in a relationship/posing with 18yr-old hoochies/getting inappropriate wall comments from someone I don't know"?

Why just the other day I sent the following e-mail:

"And also, "Mitchell" wrote on your Facebook wall, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." ("Mitchell" likes one of my friends but the feeling is not reciprocated, and thanks to the news feed on Facebook, I could see that he made a desperate attempt at communication by saying something dumb.)

Not surprisingly, I did not receive a response to that email.

But I digress.

My experience with the above (not that I've stalked people on either Facebook OR My Space, just so we're clear) is that if you look hard enough, sooner or later you will eventually find something you don't like and the next thing you know, you're Googling the release of a certain movie on DVD to try and figure out the date a picture with someone holding said DVD was taken to determine on a scale of 1-10 how upsetting it is (15...). I'm just saying. That's an example. Of what you might find. Anyway.

Be careful when you're digging for information. In these cases, ignorance usually is bliss.

Or, before you join, you might make your friend look up someone you want to find but act like you're just adding them because you add everyone and they accept your friend request but essentially ignore you -- if you're going down this road, make sure you have more than say, four friends.

Also, sometimes people will join different networks to try and view profiles of someone specific that they can't friend request because if they did they would literally be vilified so their only hope is to join that person's network in hope their privacy settings will allow a profile view and will have to delete the story of joining the network from their news feed so that no one will catch them.

Then, since you can tag people in pictures, it gets complicated for the following reasons;
--someone tagged one of your friends in an event album you are not a part of
--someone you don't know of the opposite sex tagged the object of your affection in some stupid wedding album or something where they were each other's date
--the object of your affection threw a party, didn't invite you, and tagged themselves in a million pictures from the party
--Sarah & I, no matter how hard we try, will NEVER find our friend from Nashville who "LOVE(D) THIS WEATHER!"

(We were thinking of posting something on Craigslist Missed Connections: Did you run the Nashville Music City Marathon? Were you shirtless? Did you scream, I LOVE THIS WEATHER, at your friend? If so, please email us ASAP. Love, Reva & Sarah. P.S. Even if you're from Milwaukee and like the movie Uncle Buck, Sarah will still date you. P.P.S -- she likes rap music)

For some reason, even though we all find things we don't like, I think people will continue to Facebook stalk for years to come.

fun emails

2008-06-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

So, I got the following email from Sarah on Wednesday:

From: Sarah
Sent: Wednesday, June 11, 2008 4:24 PM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: If he's from Milwaukee, would you still date him?

What's party in the plaza? hahahah, I used to say (redacted by Editor). If you post this on your $#%!! blog, I'll kill you.

Apparently, I've tricked her into thinking people actually READ my blog.

Then today:

From: Reva
Sent: Friday, June 13, 2008 9:58 AM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: not funny?

Oh cool – guess who I (redacted by Editor)

From: Sarah
Sent: Friday, June 13, 2008 12:53 PM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: not funny?

OH man, that sucks. I just remembered I started cracking up last night b/c there was a skit set in an office where one girl was trying to do work and everyone else was like la di da, respond to my evite, look at my photos on flickr, accept my friend request, so she has an outburst and one of the girls is like I'm so putting this on my blog!!!! Hahaha, I thought of you and your %$!! blog.

From: Reva
Sent: Friday, June 13, 2008 1:02 PM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: not funny?

OMG that skit sounds hilarious!!! Yeah my f-ing blog that like 3 people read…yeah I just checked, 3 page views today…lame. So after the Sox game tomorrow would you want to go get Margaritas and then go see Hottie bombattie? Sarah F wants to grab Margs.

From: Sarah
Sent: Friday, June 13, 2008 1:10 PM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: not funny?

Yes ma'am. Margos all the way!! We are going to be a sight to behold at (bar name redacted by Editor), after 5 hours of drinking. Way to impress your hottie bouncer dude :)

My point? Do I have to have one? Go Red Sox!!

It's a small, small world

2008-06-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

Maybe moving around so much is the reason I have stories like this, but as I was flying home last night from Philadelphia, I got to thinking of the three MAJORLY odd coincidences that I've discovered over the past few years involving people I've met or know who've randomly met or previously knew people I now know (yes, I just tried to make that sentence as confusing as possible).

Coincidence #1
In Philadelphia (when I was interning at Villanova) on St. Patrick's Day 2005 I was at a bar with my friend Tatiana (she lives in the Philly-area and we lived in the same dorm at U Miami) and her high school friends. She had recently returned from a trip to Boston to visit another high school friend. They were showing me pics and in one of the pics, who do I see? A guy friend who used to live in my dorm at U of I who they randomly met at a bar in BOSTON. So, just to recap:

Tatiana lived in the same dorm at U Miami and stayed friends after we both skedaddled out of there
Jon & I lived in the same dorm in Champaign, IL and were friends
Stacy (T's high school friend) moved from Philadelphia to Boston
Tatiana went to visit her
Tatiana & Stacy met Jon at a bar in Boston
Jon & Stacy became friends

Coincidence #2
When I first moved to Chicago last April I was still working for CSTV. My CSTV co-worker and friend Amelia is originally from a suburb of Chicago so knows the area well and has a lot of friends in the city. Amelia went to Fairfield in Conn. My then-roomie Brandon had a party one weekend and two of his friends, Grant & Tim came to the party. They both went to Fairfield. They were roommates at Fairfield. Grant is Amelia's ex-boyfriend. So, just to recap:

Amelia and I are co-workers at CSTV and friends (I lived in San Diego then Chicago while working there, she lived in NYC)
I randomly moved in with Brandon and Nick, who I found on Craigslist
Brandon is friends with Grant & Tim, who went to Fairfield and were roommates
Grant and Amelia used to date, which I discover when I tell Tim one of my friends went to Fairfield (oh what's her name? Amelia. Amelia who?...yeah you see where this is going).

Coincidence #3
Last Satruday when tailgating for the Brewers game in Milwaukee with my friends Sarah and Tammy we met up with our other friend Harry and his friends. A bunch of his friends went to Augustana. My friend Rachel went to Augustana. I asked Brian (one of Harry's friends who went to Augustana) if he knew Rachel and he said he wasn't sure. So afterwards I asked Rachel and it turns out she used to hang out with a girl who lived next door to Brian all the time, so yes they new each other. So, just to recap:

I know Sarah and Harry through Katie
I know Katie through Melissa, who I worked with at the Daily Illini
I know Rachel through Nate & Ashely (Ash & Rach went to BU for grad school)
Harry met Brian at a wedding
Brian used to hang out with Rachel and her friends in college

Those three specific coincidinces stick out in my head for whatever reason but I'm sure there have been others (met some dude and his GF through my friend Chris and the dude went to high school with one of my current co-workers, etc etc etc) but the above three strike me as particularly coincidental. Am I wrong?

more at twiigs.com...

Rules of the Rebound

2008-06-01T17:06:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, I went up to Milwaukee with some friends for the Brewers/Astros game and spent about three hours tailgating and came to the following conclusions in regards to the Rebound.

When rebounding from a "situation", there are several things to keep in mind:

1 -- Don't move too quickly...sure, you may meet the perfect rebound shortly (i.e mere hours) after a soul-sucking non-human has basically slept through your emotional breakdown over wanting more than he can give, but you're probably too upset to go past first, as the eighth graders say, so don't do it.

2 -- If you randomly wind up in a strip club, do not participate in any of the antics, up to and including doing a body shot off a stripper. Well, I guess if you're a guy, go for it, but if you're a girl and a group of guys takes you to a strip club, let them buy you drinks but don't do body shots -- unless that's your thing (or if you always lose at "Never I have I ever" this will definitely help you) and in that case by all means go for it.

3 -- Make sure the rebound is a person who you'd actually want to hang out with in the future if you have mutual friends. Actually, make sure you DO have mutual friends because I think a rebound with a total random is a bad idea...that's just me though. This isn't Kam's on a Thursday. If it were, that would be different.

4 -- The whole point of a rebound is not to immediately start dating him or her so make sure you set expectations up front. Do not pretend it isn't a rebound when it actually is and get yourself into another awkward situation.

5 -- Enjoy! The goal is to have fun and not wallow if your own misery.

6 -- I have a 5:45am flight out of O'Hare in the AM so it is time for me to crash.

7 -- Miller Park is cool.

8 -- I embarrassed myself when talking about being a Red Sox fan but could BARELY name half their lineup. I'll need to work on that.

9 -- No more 50 degree days in Chicago. June 1 means it should officially be hot all the time now.

every penny counts

2008-05-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today I got a check for the rest of my stock options from CSTV...a whopping $1.07. I think I received a grand total of $30 altogether. I almost didn't deposit it, just to fuck up their accounting, but then again I had to go to the bank anyway. It is so lame depositing a check for that amount. I'm surprised the ATM machine didn't spit it out at me and laugh.

I am spending 10 of the next 12 days in other cities...so, I'm off to pack for round one.

Marketing 101 & Common HR Phrases

2008-05-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Marketing 101

The Buzzword in today's Business World is "MARKETING."

However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing"

Well, here it is:

You're a Woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party and you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

That's Junk Mail.

You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and gropes your breast and grabs your ass.

That's the Governor of California.

You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended.

** That's America

And as a bonus: Common HR Phrases

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYI NG: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

needed immediately: new taste in music

2008-05-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

Have any of you created those custom radio stations on Yahoo! Launchcast? You know, where you can pick your own artists, etc? Well I just launched my radio station and the FIRST song that comes on is "Summertime" by NKOTB...you know, from their new album to kick of their reunion tour? Some things are better left in 1989.

Help!

UPDATE: There is a video floating around of NKOTB's performance this morning on the Today Show. I'm not posting it, it is nauseating (in addition to the music, the screaming crowd of 30-something moms wearing NKOTB buttons from 1989). My fave blogger, Michael K of DListed said it best: "Let's be honest, they sounded like a group of raccoons fighting in an empty garbage can."

the Chris Farley Show

2008-05-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, I read The Chris Farley Show, an oral history of the late comedian's life. It is comprised of interviews with friends, family and colleagues. The book is absolutely heart breaking.

It paints Farley as a talented, hilarious, lovable guy who eventually succumbs to his inner demons. I mean, he died after going on a four-day cocaine binge.

You wonder, could he have been saved? It is hard to say. So many people tried to save him for so long, eventually I think even Farley himself didn't think he could be saved. I leave you with a clip of him during his three-years of sobriety on SNL.

are you kidding me with this?

2008-05-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

Chicago is a large city. I'm not sure of the exact population or square mileage, but it is big. Therefore, the odds of running into someone you don't want to see should be pretty small.

I thought it was weird running into people I know on the L or at random bars or on the street (I have in fact, run into people in all of these places), but so far none of those random encounters have been awkward, they have just been coincidental. For example, just last night I ran into my friend Chris and his brother Mark at a bar and wound up hanging out with them for a while. But I digress.

I had an almost "this is the most awkward moment EVER" today that I thought was too weird to not mention.

In order to tell this I-thought-Chicago-was-bigger-than-THAT story, I need to confess something. Back in February, I did something I said I would absolutely never do: join E-Harmony. First of all, the commercials creep me out, second of all, I'm not really looking for something that serious and third of all, my track record with online dating is not good (maybe I should stop writing that I can't date someone with poor grammar...it attracts all the freaks). So, why did I join? I actually don't know. It was an impulse thing I did in order to try to move on from a...situation. (Oh, you don't ever want to get married? Fine. Fuck you. I'll find someone who does....yeah, that backfired).

Anyway, I joined, and it was kind of overwhelming. They e-mailed me seven or eight new matches a DAY, and really, who has that kind of time? Not me. So I weeded them out pretty quickly. If something seemed off in their profiles (bad grammar, odd sentence structure, shorter than 5'9'', too religious), I would just close the match...nothing personal but I just don't have the patience to go through 80-something matches carefully (they accumulated rather quickly).

Eventually, though, after weeding through what seemed like an exorbitant amount of profiles, I started emailing with this guy who shall from now on be referred to as "Creepy E-Harmony Guy" or CEG for short, because, well, I'm lazy.

CEG seemed normal in email and phone conversations so we set up a brunch date sometime in March. I vaguely remember that it was after I returned from my first trip to Dallas. Anyway, we meet for brunch and he was maybe five minutes late, which isn't a big deal, so when he got there I had already gotten a table. He walks in and I'm like, okay, great, the pictures in his profile are at least five years and 30 pounds ago, but whatever. I'm not trying to be superficial here, I'm pretty sure most of those pounds were muscle anyway and I'd rather you be 28 than 23, just be honest in your pictures. Jesus.

So, right off the bat, I'm like, okay, he's shorter than I thought (I think his profile said 5'9'' but he seemed shorter) and I'm not super attracted to him, but whatever. So we talk, he seems nice and all that. He doesn't seem extremely anything: funny, smart, nice, odd, quirky, whatever. He just was. At some point, he brings up his ex. I'm like okay, well, it's a little early for that but if he wants to talk about her, fine, whatever, I don't care.

So he uses that as a segue to ask the following question: "so, how did your last relationship end?"

Okay, seriously?? I later complained to my mom that I thought that was an inappropriate first date conversation. She told me that on her first date with my step-dad she asked him how long he'd been divorced, so she didn't necessarily blame CEG for asking. Okay, fine, she's entitled to her opinion but that situation was COMPLETELY different. There were children involved in that situation, they were older with more life experience, etc etc etc. I don't think when you're in your 20's with zero marriages and no kids between the two of you that you need to ask that question.

I didn't really know how to answer that question. I BS-ed my way through it and was like "DON'T WORRY, I'M READY TO MOVE ON!!!!!!" (I write that in all caps and with numerous exclamation points because I was trying to convince myself that I was ready to move on from aforementioned "situation" and become something serious with someone else when actually neither of those were true. Like, who was I kidding? Well, apparently CEG. But no one else.)

So, brunch ends, he pays. Nothing else about our date sticks out other than his unfortunate interest in the demise of my last relationship.

Anyway.

We're standing on the corner of Wrightwood & Clark saying goodbye. We hug. The restaurant was within walking distance of my apartment so I was walking home and MAYBE halfway down Wrightwoond (as in within five minutes of parting ways with CEG) when I receive a text message. Something to the effect of: "So, now the big question: feel any chemistry between us?"

The first thing that goes through my mind: Is he fucking KIDDING me with this?

I think I called my friend Sarah and we were like, what the hell, at least wait a day or something.

My mom told me to tell him it was too soon to tell, so that's how I responded and he replied that I made a good point. So I think, okay, I'm off the hook.

Not so fast.

Brunch was a Sunday. I believe on Monday or Tuesday I get another text: When can I see you again? I legitimately was busy with work so I responded the next week would be better. He said great. I figured he would forget about me by then.

Again...not so fast.

The next week he sends me some ridiculous text message that says something like: "Good morning, hope you're having a great week. So, what about us, do you want to continue dating?"

Now, I will admit, since this was a couple months ago, that above text is not word for word what he said to me, but he did use the words "us" and "continue dating."

News flash: there is no us, and we're not dating.

I didn't know how to respond, so I kind of shelved the text message and moved on with my day. figuring I'd attend to it the next day after I'd decided whether or not he was a total whack job.

The next day, I receive the following text (again, paraphrased): "No response yet? That's not a good sign." At that point, I decided I had reached my freak limit and told him I wasn't ready for a relationship and then apologized. The next time I logged on to E-Harmony, he had closed our match and cited the reason as being there was no chemistry between us, which I find hilarious. Also, if you're curious, I went ahead and canceled my subscription.

Cut to me, two months later (today), walking down Fullerton in jeans and a sweatshirt (i.e looking like total crap) going to meet Sarah for dinner. It had rained earlier and there was a huge puddle right before the sidewalk that I was going to walk around. I noticed a couple walking towards me and realized they'd probably be doing the same thing. Then I noticed the male half of that couple was CEG. I don't think he saw me. Even though I was walking RIGHT towards him, he was looking at the ground to presumably avoid walking in the puddle. He was walking arm-in-arm with this girl and I was kind of stopped in the street because my options were to either stop and let them navigate around the puddle first, walk through the puddle or cross the street and avoid them all together, and since I don't *think* he saw me, I just opted to wait the five seconds for them to walk by me and then be on my merry way. I was trying really hard not to laugh. He was babbling about something church related so I'm assuming that's where they were coming from.

I tell Sarah this, we think it is hilarious, we eat dinner, etc. After dinner, we're walking down Broadway and I'm like, "God, I still can't believe I saw CEG with that girl...she was PRETTY...how is that possible?" As I'm mentioning this, Sarah points out a restaurant to me that we're approaching: "I really want to try this place, I've heard it is really good."

Inevitably, because she's pointing it out, I look in the window. Oh, look who's dining in the restaurant: CEG AND HIS NEW FRIEND. Again, I'm sure he was too involved with his future wife to notice me, but seriously...that's just...odd.

I can imagine how their first date went.

CEG: My last girlfriend broke up with me over text message. It was devastating. Hold me.

Blonde Girl: That's so sad. It can't be because you're creepy. Let's make out.

more at twiigs.com...

That's the thing about Chicago...

2008-05-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

One minute you're eating dinner with your roommates and the next minute you're screaming "Reverse Cowgirl!" in the Jerry Springer control room while the actual audience is participating in a very inappropriate game of charades.

My friend Alison was working in legal for the Jerry Springer Show and text messaged me on Wednesday saying it was my last chance to catch a taping. I knew it was either her last day or close to it, so Steph and I hopped in a cab and hustled over to the NBC Tower to catch the episode. Well, we certainly got more than we bargained for, as they were filming a PPV episode, which is essentially porn. There were still cat fights, but they were naked cat fights. It was the last show of the taping season, guess they wanted to do it up right.

The theme of the show was something about a slumber party, hosted by a he-she named Jason (who was like 400lbs and only wearing a thong), who immediately tried to pick fights with the audience. Then he was instrumental in making the girls attack each other. Two girls fighting over the same guy had to participate in a x-rated spelling bee, with the winner also winning the guy, except it didn't really work out that way, so Jason kicked them off the stage. The guy came on stage and started yelling at the "winner" about how he really felt like her "babysitter."

It was a 30-yr old mother of god knows how many vs. a 19-yr old and the 30-yr old one would not shut up about how she was college educated and the 19-yr old was so dumb, blah blah blah, and then wound up losing the spelling bee. The word was "another dumb hairdo." Well I guess that's three words. But she spelled another without the e. Yes, that's not x-rated, but trust me, it started out that way.

The girls participating in the slumber party (not to be confused with the naked hair-pullers) at one point decided to start doing charades, which is why at one point I found myself yelling "Reverse Cowgirl." Right after I yelled that, the teleprompter girl yelled at us for being too loud (why does this always happen to me???) so Alison decided to give us a tour of the 6th floor where her office was.

After the show, we went to the wrap party, where I actually met Jerry and got my picture taken with him.

All in all, an interesting and fun experience!! I guess you know you've hit rock bottom when your trying to pull someone else's hair out. Over a guy. Naked. On Jerry Springer.

things that are awesome

2008-05-06T14:48:00.000-07:00

A list my roommate Steph and I compiled earlier:

-- summer in Chicago

-- being in Chicago

-- working in advertising in Chicago

-- being (super) awesome

-- not having man boobs

-- not looking like Conan O’Brien

-- text messages containing more substance than “Hey”

-- Being as cool as we look (aka the opposite of Entourage, looks=cool/hot, is=nerd/lame)

Additional things that are awesome:

-- a capella groups

-- screaming "I LOVE THIS WEATHER" during a marathon when it is 60 and drizzling (Sarah and I will never forget you, random shirtless man)

-- Peyton Manning's united way commercial (http://www.hulu.com/watch/1603/saturday-night-live-united-way)(Do you WANT to lose? I throw, you catch, it's not that difficult)

-- telling people the truth about where you went to school (i.e. not Harvard)

-- weekends in Nashville w/awesome friends

-- meeting the Barenaked Ladies on Saturday (WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

-- possibly forming a work kickball team

I could go on and on. Bring on Summer!!!!

while you were not paying attention to the layout of chicago...at all

2008-05-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

Sarah and I have this little obsession with While You Are Sleeping, first of all because it takes place in Chicago and second of all, well it's classic 90's (you could hide an entire ADDITIONAL person in some of the sweaters/pants that Sandra Bullock wears throughout the movie).

We were watching it last night trying to figure out if any of it was geographically accurate, which, we decided it was not.

Some discrepancies: (with the help of a site called http://www.alsplace.com)

-- Peter's apartment appears to be close to the Hancock and North of the river but Lucy and Jack are driving south of the river to drop something off at his apt.
-- While Lucy and Jack are on the Riverside walk when he is "walking her home" (Mich Ave bridge to Lake Shore), they are walking towards Lake Michigan (eastbound)but there aren't any apartments similar to Lucy's (i.e crappy) anywhere near that part of the city. Assuming that they're walking to Columbus Drive and intend to turn north or south they will only encounter office buildings and/or Grant Park. Her apartment is supposed to be in Logan Square. You can't get to Logan square via Riverside walk. At all. They would have to walk at least five miles to get back to Logan Square. In the dead of winter. Yeah, that's happening.
-- Lucy works at the Randolph & Wabash "L" stop. Actually that's a fact more than a discrepancy. But we had to pause the movie to find out which stop it was.

In conclusion, Paramount Pictures is not fooling anyone. And I need a life.

"Lets hang out and touch medals"

2008-04-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

No recap of this past weekend in Nashville will do it justice, but I'll try anyway:

Sarah picked me up from work at 12:30 on Friday so we could make the approximately seven hour drive down to Nashville (Katie was lucky. Coming from Atlanta, she only had about a three hour drive).

12:31: Sarah cancels the trip as I'm frantically searching between her trunk and passenger seat for my cell phone. She calls it. It is in my pocket.

Sarah: "Okay...I'm officially canceling the trip!."

First song of the trip: All I Need is a Miracle by Mike and the Mechanics.

Sarah: "All I need is a miracle to get us to the Dan Ryan!"

12:44: Sarah berates my travel journal. I was being rather ambitious, trying to keep track of the songs that came up on my iPod and the number of times Katie had already called us. Both became impossible to track fairly quickly.

"Breathe" by Michelle Branch came on shortly after and I wrote it down in the journal.

Sarah threatens to kick me out of the car.

Clearly, we're not embracing the travel journal at this point.

1:06 pm: Sarah and Katie have an argument about which time zone Nashville is in, which Katie eventually won.

1:13 pm: Sarah berates the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morisette: "Rain on your wedding day is NOT ironic."

We then discuss how the song "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys makes absolutely no sense:

You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way

But we are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way

I'm confused. What, exactly, is it that we want? I want you to be my one desire, but you want us to be two worlds apart? Actually, wait, that does make more sense than I originally thought...moving on.

Sarah, at some point, makes me do a t-chart. What is a t-chart, you may ask? You make a pro/con list about the person you're currently seeing/dating/hooking up with (but not sexually, I say hooking up as in, let's get together later at the Beaumont, perhaps) and then see if the pros outweigh the cons.

While I'm doing this, the song "Surely (I love you)" by Colin James comes on...odd.

I won't get into the specifics of the t-chart, but the discussion of the pros or cons spawned perhaps the funniest thing I've ever heard Sarah say: "I find that EXCEPTIONALLY hard to believe given his physical stature." What were we talking about, you ask? Draw your own conclusions.

At this point, I think it would be fun to make Sarah request songs without knowing what's actually ON my iPod. I have over 4100 songs so I figure the odds are good that I have the song she's looking for.

Sarah: "Do you have any Billy Joel?"
Reva: "Of course. I have TONS of Billy Joel."

I then proceed to find out the only Billy Joel song I have is "Piano Man."

Sarah then berates my Billy Joel collection.

I become excited around 1:30 when I discover we will be driving through Kentucky and I've never been there. I'm all about the new states.

The song, "I Touch Myself" comes on. Sarah and I discuss whether or not that song is sexual. And by discuss, I mean I tried to ask her with a straight face if she thought it was sexual. Then I recap the time my friend Marc sang the song in a karaoke bar and it was one of the funniest performances ever.

Next we get to pickup lines.

Sarah: "I'm mad at cute parking space boy. My car gets so dirty! But he's still cute."
Reva: "Say something like, my car is dirty...and so am I."

Sarah does not like that pick up suggestion.

My next one went over a little better but it really isn't blog appropriate...and I'll leave it at that.

We start playing the Kevin Bacon game. We try to connect Morgan Freeman to Heath Ledger, Helen Hunt to James Earl Jones, Haley Joel Osmet to Kevin Bacon, and then we lose interest.

I eventually decide keeping a detailed account of the ride down is lame so we kind of just enjoy the "scenery" of Indiana/Kentucky (i.e. farms, billboards for adult stores, religious sayings, liquor and references to Abraham Lincoln).

There were lots of 18-wheelers on the road. One particular one in front of us had an image on the back.

Sarah: "Is that a woman with a tiara?"
Reva: "Ummm...close...that's a guy with a trucker hat."

We tell road trip and traveling stories. We stop for gas in Kentucky and I ask the girl at the register if there is a Wal-Mart or Target near by we could stop at. We wanted to buy poster board so we could make Katie signs. Her directions:
"There is a Wal-Mart in A Town. Take a left at the stop sign and the Wal-Mart is on your right a ways down."

"A ways down" turned out to be much further than we expected and we wound up backtracking to the previous exit on the highway. We aborted that mission.

You're probably thinking at this point that Sarah and I were taking turns driving. Well, you thought wrong my friend. I asked Sarah earlier if she wanted me to drive and she said she was fine.

Reva: "Oh, you're one of THOSE people."
Sarah: "What does that mean???"
Reva: "One of those people who doesn't let anyone else drive their car??"

We eventually make it to Nashville. We get to the hotel, change, and go to dinner. We didn't do anything after dinner since Katie had to get up at 5:30 am for the 7am start.

5:30 rolls around on Saturday and Katie gets up and ready. I can hear her and Sarah devise plans for the day, like which miles we will try to see her at, what we'll do when the race is over, etc. I'm barely conscious. I know the race starts at 7, but for some reason it doesn't register that Sarah and I need to get up shortly after Katie leaves at 6.

Sarah: "It's 6:15, we're leaving in 10 minutes."
Reva: "What??"
Sarah: "You want to see Katie RUN don't you?"
Reva: "Of COURE but...well what kind of crack head schedules a marathon to start at 7am?"
Sarah: "ALL marathons start that early!! Get up!"

I manage to get up and we go to Starbucks. It is by the start line anyway and Katie's projected start time isn't until around 7:45 so we figure that we have time.

We wander towards mile one trying to figure out where we want to try and see Katie. We see two guys singing in the back of an Enterprise moving van in a Qudoba parking lot...you KNOW you've made it when you're singing at a marathon in the back of a moving van in a Qudoba parking lot.

We watch people run by us. No one really sticks out until an overly enthusiastic shirtless man screams at his friend, "I LOVE THIS WEATHER." It was too early to be that enthusiastic about 60 and drizzling so we wanted to seek him out after the race and ask him what his preferred mood elevator was. The rest of the day we decided that when we went to the bars that night we would start asking guys, "could you please take your shirt off and scream I love this weather?"

We see Katie at miles one and two, then she tells us to meet back up with her at mile 11. (A half marathon is 13.1 miles, but you knew that already I'm sure). We go back to the hotel to get breakfast. Well, I ate and Sarah watched me. She said she wasn't hungry.

Reva: "What, you think eating is for the weak?"
Sarah: "I'm just not hungry right NOW."

I'm like stuffing my face with eggs and bacon and I give her a banana, which she doesn't eat for hours. That turned into Katie and I jokingly telling her: "you can stay up for 24 hours straight and only eat oatmeal...how is that possible??"

At mile 11, we're sitting on the curb when we spot Katie. Sarah runs with her briefly (I was in flip flops and a tube top...not really conducive to running). After that, we cut over to mile 12. Around mile 12.5 we're trying to figure out whether or not we could have missed her when she runs by us. We chase after her. We run the last tenth of a mile with her (again, hard to do with my attire, but it was only a tenth of a mile at that point).

The race ended at the stadium where the Titans play. We eventually get to Katie and decide to go to a bar to celebrate that she PR'd her race.

The first bar we go to is lame. The bartender clearly hates us, so we stay for one drink and leave. Oh yeah, it's barely noon at this point, but whatever.

The second bar is better so we camp out. Sarah and Katie are discussing previous road trips they've been on. I decide I haven't been on enough of them so I call Lisa and tell her we need to go on one immediately. Then I bring up the old joke of Katie stealing Lisa's phone, so I hand my phone off to Katie so she can talk to Lisa. I'm not sure what they're discussing but at some point, Katie yells into the phone, "He was like a dead organ on my face."

The entire bar looks over at her. Sarah is embarrassed. I'm laughing.

We eventually decide to go back to the hotel to nap. We nap and then get ready for dinner. Katie's second cousin, Michael, lives in Nashville so he says he is going to come with two of his friends to pick us up and we'll all go to dinner. We go to a restaurant called Big River. While we're waiting for our table, one of her cousin's friends, Will, tells us about the story of his ex-girlfriend hiding in the bushes outside his house.

Reva: "Wait...people actually DO that?"

At the table, Sarah at some point reveals her love for Peyton Manning. The guy next to her, Eric, goes, "people tell me I look like Peyton Manning."

I think Sarah was trying really hard to keep a straight face (he didn't look like Peyton at ALL).

Eric gets up to go to the bathroom.

I look at Sarah and say, "I should tell him that line won't actually work unless he IS Peyton Manning."

We go to leave the restaurant and Sarah falls down the stairs that go from our dining area to the main lobby area and bar (it was like...three stairs, so not life threatening). As she stands up, a table full of guys gives her a standing ovation.

We part ways with Michael, Will and Eric and go to a karaoke bar called Wanna Be's. We're there for one beer when Katie's friend from high school, Ryan, texts her and says he's out as well. We're heading to the bar they are at when we run into them on the street (them being Ryan and his friend Jimmy). I met Ryan once before when he was in Chicago over Labor Day weekend last year and we went to a bar called the Hangge Uppe, which his friends thought was a gay bar (it is not).

We wind up at the same bar we spent the majority of the afternoon at. When I met Ryan in September, he had been in town with two of his friends, one in particular named Matt who I had thought was cute. Ryan remembers this so we joke about how the real reason Matt and Ryan's other friend (I want to say his name was Aaron but I'm not positive) left the Hangge Uppe that night was because I was like, "wooooooooo Matt let's make out." (I actually didn't say that, I tried to make that normal "hey I just met you" small talk). I decide to give Ryan one of my business cards. I tell him to give it to Matt...he laughs. At that point we were all laughing...a lot.

Katie's cousin Michael calls her:
"Hey Hey Hey, Katie? Hey Katie? Remember my friend Eric, from dinner? He really likes Sarah...and I have another friend for Reva...we should meet up later."
Katie: "Umm, yeah maybe."

Ryan and Jimmy decide to go back to their hotel because they both ran the full marathon and are tired. We stay at the bar.

Some random dude comes to our table to talk to us. His name is Jack and he's in Nashville for a bachelor party. Some of his other friends come over. One of them looks like Andy Roddick so I tell him that and proceed to call him Andy for the rest of the night (that may or may not be his actual name, we're not sure).

We decide to go back to the karaoke bar we were at earlier. Katie starts talking to some dude named Jeff, who is there by himself. The bachelor party joins us. I sing. Katie sings. At this point it is around 2am. I'm sitting at the table when Jeff strikes up the following convo:
Jeff: "What's your name?
Reva: "Reva"
Jeff: "You're so cute."
Reva: "Thanks"
Jeff: (pulling out blackberry): "Do you have a My Space page?"
Reva: "Um, yes."
Jeff: "What's your email address?"

Proceeds to friend request me on My Space...at the bar...from his Blackberry...(p.s. DENIED).

One of the bachelor party dudes, Ben, has taken a liking to Sarah.

At some point he asks her if she believes in fate. Our joke was that she was like, "NO, GET AWAY FROM ME, LET'S MAKE OUT."

Last call rolls around. Jeff walks over to me and asks me to please stick around for the last song, which he'll be singing.

He sings, "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. I feel kind of awkward. He leaves and tells me to hit him up on My Space.

Back at the hotel, Katie was like, "Sarah had Ben and you had Jeff and I had no one."

All I could say to that was, "once again, I got the one with the man boobs."

Sarah thinks this is the funniest thing she has ever heard.

We get up Sunday and go to brunch, then immediately hit the road. While Sarah is driving, I find a song on my iPod that I had remembered her mention the day before. I play it. She can't believe I remembered.

Reva: "See, I'm a good listener and have eagle eye vision. Put that on your t-chart and shove it!!!"

While driving back, one of us may or may not have a received a text message that said, "how about a nooner."

We berate above text message for the rest of the trip

Some other amusing quotes:
"That's mom and dad to you!! Wait, why do YOU care?"
"Let's hang out and touch medals."
"That's the grossest thing I've ever heard."
"Anyone who can't drive for 8 hours straight is a wuss!"
"You'll get back to Chicago much later after my bladder explodes and I DIE!"

This recap probably makes no sense to anyone but Katie, Sarah and I, but it was a great weekend.

We had lots of fun. I was thinking about it at work today and would start smiling or laughing for no reason.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy my extensive collection of Billy Joel.

Nashville or Bust

2008-04-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, my friend Sarah and I are going to drive to Nashville to meet up with the lovely Katherine P., who will be running a half marathon there. A fun-email chain below between Sarah and I:

From: Sarah
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:39 AM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: FYI

Hi - Thanks for this. Hope you had fun last night. I left work late and was beat!

From: Reva
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:42 AM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: FYI

I only stayed for one beer. I had to go home and do more work. My boss is in town today and tomorrow and I am afraid she came here to fire my ass b/c I SUCK!! P.S. we need to keep track of how many times we say girlfriend please on the trip.

From: Sarah
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:43 AM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: FYI

HAHAHAHAH. girlfriend, please. Of course. Know any fun car games?? I'm going to pick up our music source tonight- thank god!!!

From: Reva
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:48 AM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: FYI

No, not really, once I played that Kevin Bacon game but you didn’t have to use Kevin Bacon, so we’d be like “Adam Sandler to Clint Eastwood, GO!”

(Adam Sandler was in Anger Management with Jack Nicholson who was in Terms of Endearment with Shirley McLaine who was in Steel Magnolis with Julia Roberts who was in …. See it gets complicated)

From: Sarah
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:52 AM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: FYI

...Runaway Bride with Richard Gere who was in An Officer and a Gentleman with Deborah Winger who was in Urban Cowboy with John Travolta who was in Pulp Fiction with Uma Thurman who was in...ok, whoa, I suck at this. Be prepared.

From: Reva
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:32 AM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: FYI

Who was in Kill Bill, Vol. 1 with Daryl Hannah who was in Splash with Tom Hanks who was in Philadelphia with Denzel Washington….there HAS to be a way to finish this!!!

From: Sarah [mailto:Sarah.Gates@ogilvypr.com]
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:41 AM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: FYI

...who was in Courage Under Fire with Matt Damon who was in The Talented Mr. Ripley with Jude Law who was in The Holiday with Kate Winslet who was in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Jim Carey who was in Bruce Almighty...with....CLINT EASTWOOD (I'm counting this b/c I distinctly remember a scene where he looks in the mirror and is transformed into Clint Eastwood, right?? It's prob just special effects, but whatevs). YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: Reva
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:50 AM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: FYI

That doesn’t count!!! He’s not listed on the credits for that movie!!!...Jim Carey was in Bruce Almighty w/Jennifer Aniston who was in Picture Perfect with Kevin Bacon (hahahaha) who was in the River Wild with Meryl Streep who was in the Bridges of Madison County with CLINT EASTWOOD!!!!! So much for that six-degrees shit, that was like 27 degrees.

From: Sarah
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:51 AM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: FYI

HAHAHAHAH. For real.

--If that doesn't keep us entertained, I don't know what will. Although, we could also explore why "All I want for Christmas is You," by Mariah Carey is in the Top 25 most played songs on my iPod. That should take a good hour at least.

ahh the things you do for impressions

2008-04-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

One of the important parts of my jobs is monitoring campaign performance. So, when I ran a report earlier that showed a particular campaign with fewer than 50 impressions on one of the sites we're running on, I had to email the publisher to verify they had implemented our ad tag. It happens to be a pregnancy/parenting web site (the ad is for a Huggies newborn diaper), and one of the pages within the site we are running is on the due date calculator page, which was showing very few impressions.

So, I went to the site and fabricated a pregnancy to use the due date calculator to see if our ad would show up. Oddly enough, it did immediately, the odds of which are usually not in my favor. I got lucky. By the way, I am due on or around November 1.

Isn't THAT Ironic

2008-04-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

Today at work, our Director of Human Resources is flying in from Philadelphia to do a sexual harassment training with our entire office. They are ordering us catered lunch. From Hooters. That is all.

Talent?

2008-04-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

I have been having problems blogging for a long time now. I tried writing about sports for a while, but that didn't really work out as I don't actually have what they call the "knowledge" in the sense that I can't really analyze, all I can do is force my opinions on you (wooooo Ken Dorsey rules). There are only so many times you can say you hate Roger Federer. I can't write anything too personal because I don't know who reads this blog (problem...and I think I receive as many as five unique hits a week) but I also know SOME who do (also a problem), like my mom, who probably wouldn't want to know.

Celebrity gossip blogs are too prevalent so that's not an angle I'd like to explore. I don't know enough about any specific topic to devote my blog to that one topic in general (unlike my friend the Yankees Chick, who knows more about baseball and the Yankees than anyone I know).

I also recently discovered a blog, the Evil HR Lady, which is great, and you should check it out, and it is a blog entirely devoted to HR issues, because she's worked in HR for a while and she knows her shit.

Even though I work in advertising, what do I actually know about it?

Although, I guess I can discuss my new-found frustration for site specs. What do I mean by site specs, you ask? When you run ads online, they have to meet certain specifications in order for the site to run them (i.e. size, K weight, close button, max seconds of animation, etc). One annoying spec is the "we need three to five days to test tags." When I was in ad ops, I didn't really have that luxury. I would receive insertion orders with a same-day start and no creative -- when you're working with limited inventory, you need to ramp up the testing phase. As in, take 20-30 minutes to test the ads to get them live ASAP, not this three to five days BS. Although, we did ask for that amount of time to test tags, we rarely received tags with enough time. It's hard: do you take the 3-5 days and miss your launch to teach sales to get you your shit sooner or do you appease them and launch on time but scramble to test? You also do have to take into account the length of campaign, number of impressions, and available inventory. So that was a dilemma I had in ad ops. But I'm not in ad ops anymore, so my dilemmas are new.

Are you still awake? No? Damn

But, back to not knowing what to write about. I just found a site with writing prompts -- one was What talent do you have that you wish more people would recognize? I would say writing. Some people think I can write well, but I suspect none of them are the ones reading this blog.

I'm sure I could develop this so-called "talent" if I took a writing class or something. So yeah, this blog has no real focus and it needs one. Any suggestions?

A Rose By Any Other Name...

2008-04-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

Because I'm a serious writer (HA) I try to avoid using cliches at all costs (like the plague, if you will). Then I thought to myself recently, what if I used cliches without even knowing it?? So, I Googled "cliches" and found a site (http://clichesite.com/) that lists pretty common ones (along with a little translation of what they mean).

Some Examples:

All bets are off
Anyhoo
Bombed (we've ALL been there)
Open up a can of whoop ass (this disappoints me)
You can't have your cake and eat it too (oh but you can, in fact)
Cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey (I've never heard this one before)
A few fries short of a happy meal (we all know people like that)

Oh, have I bored you with my little cliche blog? Well, let me tell you something, THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. Haha, see what I did there?

In conclusion, don't use cliches. Thanks.

the shot heard 'round the world

2008-04-08T10:11:00.000-07:00

I normally wouldn't root for Kansas. Here's why:

In 2003, Bill Self proclaimed he was staying in Champaign no matter what and 24-hrs (or maybe it was minutes) later, he bolted for Kansas leaving Illini fans all over feeling rejected and jaded.
Then, when I was interning at 'Nova, Kansas came to the Wachovia center undefeated and we lambasted them as an unranked team (it helped that we hit 12 of 19 three's).
Then this year, Kansas returned the favor in the Sweet 16, making me a very sad Sally.

But last night in the National Championship game, I had to root for Kansas. Here's why:

John Calipari's fake hair.
If Kansas won, it would justify Villanova's loss (three of the past four years they have been ousted in the NCAA tourney by the eventual national champion..."but Reva," you're surely thinking, "in 2005 when UNC beat 'Nova, you didn't root for THEM in the title game." And to that I would respond that first of all, we lost by one point to UNC on a bullshit traveling call against Allan Ray, second of all UNC was playing the Illini in the title game so of course I had to root for U of I, and third of all, Roy Williams skeezes me out.
I wanted Memphis' HORRIBLE free-throw shooting to bite them in the ass, especially after Calipari assured us all their horrible free-throw shooting didn't matter because they could deliver in clutch situations. Are you sure about that, John?
Even though Memphis played some quality teams down the stretch, most of their season is a joke -- I mean C-USA? Come on. Let's recap who is in that conference: UCF, Southern Miss, St. Mary's School for the Blind. Try playing in the Big East and see if your 38-2 record still stands.

Mario Chalmers had a freakin awesome shot to send the game into overtime. Memphis shouldn't have let it get to that point -- delivering in clutch situations? I think not.

home sweet home

2008-04-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

I just had my one-year anniversary in Chicago (I guess it was technically March 31) and to celebrate I went back to San Diego to visit friends I hadn't seen since I left.

The weekend in San Diego was a whirlwind -- didn't get to see everyone but saw most of the people I wanted to -- the weather was mediocre at best (60's, cloudy, I didn't fly 2000 miles for that crap), but it was relaxing nonetheless.

The whole time I was there, despite enjoying myself, I felt out of place, which is how I felt the entire time that I lived there. I was so happy to get back to Chicago, even though I didn't land at Midway until almost 1am, Southwest almost lost my bags (I know, almost doesn't count, but my second bag was the last bag out and had it not surfaced they would have lost my iPod and Blackberry. Checking the iPod was a mistake, I reminded myself to pull it out of my bag before checking it but in between spacing out and text messaging Katie, that reminder went out the window).

Friday night in San Diego we went to an old favorite, the Lamplighter on Washington St. I was clearly outnumbered, which was fine, as most of my friends in SD were guys, so it was me and like, eight guys at the bar.

There was also a bachelorette party at the bar and at one point the bride got up and sang "Like a Virgin." How original. Did I mention that this was a karaoke bar?

What Chicago lacks in karaoke bars, it makes up in...well...pretty much everything else. It is good to be home.

Sweet 16

2008-03-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

I have a bone to pick with Gregg Doyel at CBS Sportsline. I understand that Villanova isn't as experienced as Kansas and isn't as big as Kansas and isn't as flat-out GOOD as Kansas and realistically they probably won't advance past the Sweet 16 but there is NO NEED to spend an entire article talking about how much better Kansas is. Especially when everyone seems to be forgetting what happened in 2005 when everyone said it would never happen and it happened. We kicked Kansas' ass by 21 points as an unranked team. Also, lest we all forget around this time of year Bill Self becomes Bill Choke. Of course I have to keep telling myself 'Nova will get blown-out by 30-points so that even if they lose by five I won't be as upset as if they actually get blown-out by 40.

I'm also insulted that Doyel claims Davidson over Wisconsin would be less of an upset. I didn't realize Davidson was so much better than Villanova. Clearly I know nothing about basketball.

My F'd Bracket

2008-03-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

I mentioned earlier that I had Duke vs. UNC in the national championship game, the odds of which before were astronomical and are now of course impossible since Puke choked vs. West Virginia. Shame on me for thinking they were not overrated again this year.

Some other bad picks:
Indiana over Arkansas: Kelvin Sampson screwed his team over and they've been free falling since he left. I wanted to believe Eric Gordon would prevail but turned out to be mistaken.

Vanderbilt over Siena: I made this pick based on Vandy being a 4-seed but that turned out to not matter...like at all.

Georgetown over Gonzaga: This game never even happened because Gonzaga lost in the first round to Davidson but I had Georgetown advancing as far as the Sweet 16, but sadly (and by sadly of course I mean WOO-HOOOO), Davidson knocked their asses out in the second round. I picked GU at least going that far because they had a pretty decent season so even though I hate them I used mind over body for this one and still got it wrong. Son of a...

My West Region had the most incorrect picks: Drake over Western Ky. and UConn over San Diego were both wrong which means I wound up with three of the four regional semi-finalists wrong. My only correct pick was UCLA, and I had them losing in the Sweet 16 to UConn, with my other match up being Purdue vs. Duke when it is really Xavier vs. West Virginia.

My East and South Regions look good. Ironically, Villanova screwed up my Midwest region since I did not have them advancing past the second round, where they were losing to Vandy.

So, when I tried to be smart about my picks this year, it turns out I still don't know jack.

Fun Email Chain

2008-03-21T13:27:00.001-07:00

I would like to share below an email thread between my friend Sarah and I:
Two things to note:
1) OOC = out-of-control
2) Sarah moved here from D.C. at the end of October/beginning of November.

From: Sarah
Sent: Friday, March 21, 2008 3:08 PM
To: Reva
Subject: ummm

Umm…have you looked out the window?? It is OOC blizzard - uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. I can't believe I freaking moved here!!!

From: Reva
Sent: Friday, March 21, 2008 3:11 PM
To: Sarah
Subject: RE: ummm

I moved here from SAN DIEGO. More importantly, I ASKED THEM TO MOVE ME HERE…FROM SAN DIEGO.

P.S. It is like 70 there right now.

P.P.S. Sorry I went OOC with the caps, bold and font increase ;-)

From: Sarah
Sent: Friday, March 21, 2008 3:12PM
To: Reva
Subject: RE: ummm

HAHAHahhahHAHAH. great response. ps - what is wrong with you?! It's even 55 and sunny in Indy. I mean, come on.

you know you have a problem when...

2008-03-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

Your Blackberry and personal cell phone are next to each other on your desk and you can't figure out which one is vibrating...it is called an addiction people. I need an intervention. Also, lets talk about how dumb I am for just a minute. I have Duke vs. UNC in the National Championship game...that's just not going to happen. Regardless of the fact that Duke almost lost to Belmont last night, we all know they don't have what it takes to make it that far. And by "we all know," of course I mean everyone except for Dickie V, because he is more delusional than I was when I filled out my bracket.

you give girls a bad name

2008-03-18T14:04:00.001-07:00

Okay, raise your hand if you watched the latest Bachelor last night? Oh, you didn't? Then you missed seeing the show that Stacey, the 26-yr old grad student from Chicago put on.

During the course of the evening, she did the following:
1 - got wasted
2 - claimed she was winning
3 - gave the bachelor her panties
4 - tried to put aforementioned panties in his pocket while he was talking to another girl (it should be noted he didn't have pockets)
5 - passed out in the bathroom
6 - said like 8,000 retarded things (I ask you, what exactly is she in grad school for? Professional Escorting?
7 - upon rejection claimed the bachelor was dumb because she was "the whole package."

Yeah...a whole package of mess.

No matter how drunk I've ever been, I've always managed to keep my underwear on. I urge you all to do the same.

caution: major headaches ahead

2008-02-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

I have this reoccuring dream where I'm going to take all my high school or college finals when I haven't been to class all semester. I'm always nervous because I know there is no way I'll pass the final and will then most likely fail the course. I'm not sure why I have this dream so much; maybe it coincides with stress in my current life, who knows. My stress level is off the radar these days, I must say. For more than one reason. Which, when I think about, makes my head really hurt.

It is important to listen to your friends. If nothing else, they are usually right when your normal judgement is blinded for whatever reason. If they warn you against doing something, then you probably shouldn't do it, because then, if you don't, nine months later, you won't be able to sleep on account of the fact that you're a fucking dumbass.

I'm so stressed and tired right now that I barely care Villanova beat UConn yesterday. That's kind of a big deal.

18 and OH NO

2008-02-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, not that anyone probably cares, but I thought I would comment on the Super Bowl.

I guess Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe said it best: "(Tom) Brady was far from perfect in the flawed finale and spent a good part of the Super Bowl on his back."

Actually FIRST can I just say all the ads were terrible -- obviously because it's all about going interactive now, agencies are pouring their money into rich media, as they should, and going online. Screw this TV crap...not that I'm biased, just so we're clear.

Okay, back to the actual game. It was like reliving that stupid Miami-OSU Fiesta Bowl all over again -- what is the point of going undefeated during the regular season if you're going to lose the only game that matters? Although, the Pats didn't lose because of a blown call that the ref decided to throw the flag for after the entire team was on the field celebrating -- the Pats lost because they played like shit. The Giants' defense was remarkable -- sacking Brady five times, the pass rushing, the run defense, double coverage, making Moss and Maroney non-factors (yes I realize Moss had a touchdown but really it didn't matter).

Brady showed us that he is, in fact, human after all. The game, except for the final three minutes, was a complete snooze fest. I actually left the party I was at during the third quarter because it started snowing and was accumulating very quickly and I wanted to get a cab home while I still had the chance (can I just also say it always AMAZES me when it's snowing really hard and you go outside that it is always silent. I walked outside and was standing on the street and there was complete and utter silence. It was kinda cool -- I felt like I was in another world...albeit a very cold and snowy one, but still.).

Lisa called me after the game and she was wicked pissed. I was surprisingly complacent, which is odd considering that, of the two of us, I am the one prone to throw sports-teams-that-i-love-losing-induced-hissy-fits (you should have seen me after the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, 2003 Miami vs. Va. Tech game in which Brock Berlin showed his true colors -- Chris Rix with better hair, 2005 Sweet 16, 2006 Elite Eight, well you get the point). Not that she was throwing a hissy fit, but she did have some choice words to express her feelings and usually those words usually only come from me in these situations.

I have to say this though: Even though I hate the Mannings and even though I think Peyton would do a Viagra commercial if they asked him and even though I think him and Eli are both whiny bitches (waaaaaaaaaaaaa I got drafted by the wrong team, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I can't get past the AFC Championship except for the one time, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa), I am happy for Eli because he finally shut-up all those a-holes who, ever since he started his NFL career, were all like, "Well he's no Peyton," and I also thought it was super cute of Peyton to be so excited up there in the luxury box for his little bro.

Know that it would take a HUGE, HUGE accomplishment, such as Eli's last night, for me to ever compliment the Mannings.

best movie quotes

2008-01-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

It is Sunday, a day when we pretend to be productive but really aren't, so I decided to compile a list of my favorite movie quotes, just because I have nothing better to do. And of course by "nothing better to do," I of course mean "I'm too lazy to get off the couch."

The movies are the ones I list as my faves on my MySpace page. So without further ado:

Adventures in Babysitting: "Don't fuck with the babysitter!"
(nothing funnier than Elizabeth Shue (playing a 17yr old but is really 24 threatening some ghettos on the L)
The Life of David Gale: "Fantasies have to be unrealistic. Because the minute- the second- that you get what you want, you don't- you can't- want it anymore."
(so true)
Finding Nemo: "Something is wrong with you, really."
(my true favorite quotes come from Dori but lose their humor when translated from the screen to my blog)
10 Things I Hate About You: "You're asking me out? That's so cute! What's your name again?"
(can't TELL you how many times that has happened to me)
The Mighty Ducks: "Just so you know, we really suck."
(this movie didn't have too many gems to choose from)
Never Been Kissed: "Ooh cheap wine coolers and a fire in a trash can, where do I sign up?"
(funny movie but not a lot of funny one-liners)
One Hour Photo: "Am I talking to a brick wall? Did I tell you to touch her? If you touch her again, I stab you in the heart!"
(very intense movie, most people make fun of me for liking...)
Princess Bride: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
(one of the most famous lines from the movie)
Kingpin: "Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn."
A Very Brady Sequel: "A gift is only a good thing when the giver has given thought to that gift. But when the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets."
Sleepy Hollow: "Villainy wears many masks, none of which so dangerous as virtue..."
Miss Congeniality: "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!"
The Wedding Planner: "What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers!"
Happy Gilmore: "The price is wrong bitch!"
Airplane!: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!"
Billy Madison: "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
The 40-Year Old Virgin: You're pretty, you're pretty, god I just want to live!!"
Just Friends: "I'm sorry that I'm not the most boring person ALIVE!"
Bridget Jones' Diary: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces."
Dumb & Dumber: "The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her."
The Fugitive: "Oh. Wow. Gee Whiz. Looky here. You know we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in them."
Son-in-Law: "Let's chow down and munch on some grindage!!"
The Devil Wears Prada: "The tales of your incompetence do not interest me." (runner up: "Please bore someone else with your questions")
Twister: "The Suck Zone." It's the point basically when the twister... sucks you up. That's not the technical term for it, obviously."
Wedding Crashers: "We've got a stage-five clinger situation."
Super Bad: "You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
Knocked Up: "Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah."

the best and worst of 2007

2007-12-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

I'm never a fan of New Years and I hate writing year recaps, which is why I don't normally do it. But, 2007 was definitely an eventful year (at least more so than '06) so I figured...why not?

I kicked off 2007 in Pacific Beach and shortly after found out I was being offered a new position at CSTV AND they were moving me to Chicago (best).

I spent the next couple months planning the move, which wasn't actually that exciting. Kate helped scope out a place in Wrigleyville for me and I scored a pretty sweet location for my first four months in the city.

In March, my plans were put on a temporary hiatus when my grandmother unexpectedly died (worst). I gave a eulogy at her funeral and other than my COMPLETE EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN I think I did a good job.

Saying good-bye to my friends in SD was not easy. It was time to move on, but I miss them all. Especially Bri & Fab -- I never would have made it through the last few months without them.

My mom flew out to San Diego and we drove to Chicago at the end of March. Moving is always a pain in the ass, like when you spend HOURS trying to put together a dresser from Target, only to do it wrong, but luckily your roommate has nice friends who help you fix it.

Since moving here, I've met some amazing people. I can't possibly list them all but I do have some "best of" memories (in chronological order):

1 -- Bri having me over for dinner 9000 times in SD.

2 -- Wii bowling w/Gus and Jason (became more fun if they gave me liquor)

3 -- Going out to JBC one of my first weekends with Alison and meeting a ton of random nice people (always a good way to start a move).

4 -- The XRT bar crawl in May with Alison and Dana -- had so much fun and met a ton more random, awesome people.

5 -- The party Brandon threw for the Cubs/Sox game.

6 -- My entire birthday weekend with Lisa out here, attending my first Cubs game and going on an architectural boat cruise.

7 -- Attending a random Media Bistro happy hour where I ran into Melissa (having not seen her in about four years) and subsequently meeting Katie.

8 -- Going to Florida at the end of June/beginning of July

9 -- The All-Star game at Joe's on Weed St.

10 -- All our softball games (I suck but the whole point is to get the bar sponsor, hello)

11 -- First Friday at the MCA (Dr. Paul!!)

12 -- Venetian night (going to Bubba Gump afterwards)

13 -- Beer Olympics (specifically getting kicked off my flip-cup team for cheating)

14 -- Dinners/Drinks with Sarah, Anna and Alison

15 -- Labor Day weekend debauchery/Hangge Uppe.

16 -- The weekend Lisa came in September and recapping with Katie every day for two weeks during our runs.

17 -- The random weekend in October with the Vikings Fans, Blue Agave and Wrightwood Tap.

18 -- Going to IU with Katie for Homecoming.

19 -- $1 drafts at Full Schilling.

20 -- My first Bulls game with Marc.

21 -- Many, many other nights that came before, after and in between (4th of July weekend, playing shuffleboard, Wii bowling at Durkins, random parties, etc.)

I hit a minor low in November with job/other stress, but at the beginning of December I started a new job and have high hopes for 2008.

And of course no year would be complete without "Quote of the Year." I have selected my personal favorites, so please, vote, and if you do, I'll tell you the story behind them (only if you vote).

more at twiigs.com...

the timing of it all

2007-11-28T08:57:00.000-08:00

In the fall of 2003 (October 11th to be exact), the Miami Hurricanes, then ranked No. 2, traveled up to Trailerhassee to play FSU in Choke Campbell and, in a downpour like no other, cold cocked the Seminoles 22-14, in part because of a magnificent defensive performance by one Sean Taylor. He intercepted two of Chris Rix's passes (not that my seven-year old cousin Meredith couldn't do that as well, I mean it IS Chris Rix we're talking about here) and returned one for a score.

Yesterday morning Taylor died as a result of a gun shot wound sustained early Monday morning. While I haven't been following his NFL career as closely as I am not a Redskins fan, I can't get over the fact that a Miami player has been the victim in another senseless tragedy. The 2006 murder of Hurricane Bryan Pata is still unsolved.

I can't really make sense of either murder, so I will just say that my condolences go out to Taylor's family. I understand he leaves behind a fiance and one-year old daughter. They were also in the house at the time of his shooting and, if anything positive could be gleaned from this incident, I think it would be that they were unharmed.

The Redskins lost a Pro-Bowl defender. It will be hard, I think, for them to overcome such a significant loss both on and off the field. It is hard to play with that kind of emotion, but maybe they can use it to turn their season around, for him.

Now I have, apparently, quite the conundrum, as they say. It appears Illinois has a chance to play in the Rose Bowl. Its overall record is better than Michigan's, so the Illini would go to Pasadena if, and only if, Ohio State leap frogs into the National Championship game, something I do NOT want to see happen. Missouri or West Virgina would have to lose on Saturday, and really anthing is possible, and then the Fuckeyes would go to the NC game in New Orleans (it IS in New Orleans, right?) and then Illinois would get the invite to the Rose Bowl. It would be great to see them there, I just don't want Tressel the Cheater and his lackeys to make it to another NC game to play...either Missouri or WVU I guess (what would happen if BOTH teams lose? My head hurts at the thought -- according to a BCS site, USC, LSU, Oklahoma and Va Tech could argue they deserve a spot in the game). But whatever happens, it would be nice to see Illinois pushed into a BCS bowl -- they deserve it after an incredible season.

guess we can't win them all

2007-11-13T12:31:00.000-08:00

Been really busy these days, but can pause long enough to wish C.C. Sabfatassia hadn't won the AL Cy Young award. I guess there is more to life than baseball though.

I am sure Josh Beckett has already moved on with his life so I should move on with mine.

cokie cola

2007-11-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

I've decided that it is probably a good thing I'm in Chicago right now. If I'd been in the vicinity of Boston yesterday I would have probably been arrested for trying to jump on the Red Sox float to molest one of the following players:

Josh Beckett
Jonathan Papelbon
Dustin Pedroia

Beckett might have let me though -- right? No? Damn.

In other news, Martinia Hingis retired from tennis amidst accusations that she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbeldon. She released this statement:

"I find this accusation so horrendous, so monstrous that I've decided to confront it head on by talking to the press," she said. "I am frustrated and angry. I believe that I am absolutely 100 percent innocent."

I feel ya girl, I HATE it when people inject illegal drugs into my system without my knowledge. Happens at least once a week.

Go Bo Sox!!

2007-10-22T10:03:00.001-07:00

I returned yesterday from an exhausting weekend at IU in Bloomington, Ind. but HAD to stay up to watch game seven of the ALCS and the Red Sox did not disappoint me. As I was watching the press conference this morning one answer stuck out more than all others. A reporter asked Josh Beckett if he stepped up his concentration in October when it got chilly and he responded: "Chilly? Is that a metaphor?" Perhaps the greatest answer EVER. Does he even know what a metaphor is? Probably not, but I love him anyway.

Beckett=awesome

2007-10-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get the sense that what people have been telling me is true: Josh Beckett is an ass hole (if you watch his press conferences it looks like he has such DISDAIN for the media, among other things). But I love him anyway. And I think that incident last night with Kenny Lofton was as much Lofton's fault as Beckett's. And naturally I am going to side with Beckett, so, I will repeat what one Red Sox fan said to me last night: "Lofton is a little bitch, and that's all you need to know."

I imagine the exchange went down like this:

Beckett: You're out motherfu$%er
Lofton: I'll kick your ass, dude
Beckett: Do that after I hand Sabathia's b@lls to him when I mail him my Cy Young award.
Lofton: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Manny Ramirez: P.S. that was a HOME RUN not a 390-foot single!!

(end scene)

Cleveland thought they were all being so sneaky having Beckett's ex sing the national anthem and "God Bless America," thinking to themselves, I'm sure, "it isn't like he's amazing in the post-season or anything, let's get him good and rattled." It backfired right onto C.C. Sabfatassia (okay I definitely can't take credit for that one, I saw it on sawxblog.com, which is a good blog and you should read it, but I thought it was so hilarious I needed an excuse to use it).

They're doing this on purpose, right?

2007-10-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

The Red Sox just blew the last three games of the ALCS on purpose, right? So they can finish the series at home, in Fenway, with all their fans, right?

Some concerns: Why did the bullpen collapse on Saturday night/Sunday morning to allow seven runs in one inning in what should have been an easy home win, why is everyone so pissed about Manny's "who cares" comment (he's saying that to throw off Cleveland so they will think the Sawx have already relegated themselves to Casa de Loser so Cleveland will get wicked cocky and blow the game, see), does Terry Francona SERIOUSLY think it would be a good idea to start Betty McUseless (aka Dice-K) for Game 7 (if we even get there and if we do, please please please do NOT start Dice-K, that would be the kiss of el-deatho), where is the offense, why isn't Jacoby Ellsbury starting in place of J.D. Drew, why is Jonathan Papelbon married and finally, did Theo Epstein suffer a massive head injury when he threw $110 million at aforementioned McUseless??

I beg to (sort of) differ

2007-10-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

Just stumbled upon a very interesting article on MSN: Eight Dating Lines Decoded, though now that I look at it, it might be an article for Baby Boomers, which I am not, but I think it could apply to us non-boomers who are also "dating."

So, of course I could argue with certain (i.e. ALL) explanations the author gives for said lines. Behold:

Line: "I'd love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow."
What SHE SAYS it means: "Sorry, you just aren't floating my boat."
What I think it means: Well if I were saying it to someone, it could mean just what it says, I have to get up early, and I am not one to sacrifice sleep unless I absolutely have to (i.e. blowing off packing for a trip until 4am when I have to leave for the airport at 6am). So I guess if I liked them ENOUGH, I wouldn't care, and if I heard the line, which I have, I'd think, "gosh, he's just not that into me." Variations of this line include: "I got up really early this morning to play Paintball so I'm really tired," "You should stay here and pack while I leave and go to the bars" and of course, "No" (which of course follows the question, "do you want to stay out?").

Line: "I had such a good time with you."
What SHE SAYS it means: "Wow, you're actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!"
What I think it means: I'd possibly like to see you again as long as I don't meet someone better in the mean time.

Line: "I'm just not ready for a relationship."
What SHE SAYS it means: "I'm just not in love with you."
What I think it means: "I'm in love with someone else."

Line: "I'd love to meet up, but I'm just really busy with work right now."
What SHE SAYS it means: "I'm trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off."
What I think it means: Just what she says...there are few reasons people will accept as legitimate for getting blown off and two of them are work and family. I've used both.

Line: "So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?"
What SHE SAYS it means: "Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?"
What I think it means: "How many people are you dating EXACTLY? If it is more than me then I won't feel guilty..."

Line: "So, want to meet for coffee?"
What it means: "Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?"
What I think it means:"It's too soon to commit the time and money to dinner right now. Starbucks is just easier."

Line: "I'm meeting my friends for a drink—want to come?"
What it means: "I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals."
What I think it means: "I need you to meet my friends and if they don't think you're hot, I can't see you anymore."

Line: "Why don't you come over and I'll cook for you?"
What it means: "Ready to get physical?"
What I KNOW it means: "Come over and I'll cook you dinner and then we can play Wii for two hours and you can spend your walk home wondering whether I like you or not. I probably don't."

Can I get a do-over?

2007-10-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

Saturday was not a good day for my teams: Miami lost, Illinois lost, the Red Sox lost. Perhaps the most painful loss of the three was the Sox -- yes, it wasn't a pivotal game in the ALCS and no, it didn't eliminate them from anything (like Miami, for example, eliminated its chances of an ACC title), but they did lost at Fenway and they did give up seven runs in the 11th inning thanks to their bullpen collapsing, and NOW they have to play in Cleveland tonight with Dice-K on the mound and I have to say, I have almost no confidence in the guy.

To make matters worse, the next three games are in Cleveland and every professional sports site (Fox Sports, ESPN, Sportsline) have Boston on "upset watch." They lose one fucking game in extra innings and everyone is handing off the ALCS to Cleveland. I really hope the Sawx can pull it together for Game 3 and show the Indians who's boss.

The upside to the weekend was seeing the Pats slice up the Dallas defense and getting T.O. to STFU.

I pledge allegiance

2007-10-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

The Bo Sox vs. Cleveland ALCS starts tomorrow and I'm trying to figure out if there is a Red Sox bar in Chicago where I can go watch the game and not be ridiculed or chastised. Yes, people are still upset about the Cubs collapse although I suppose the Bears win over Green Bay helped to ease the pain.

So in honor of the start of the ALCS and because I get made fun of for my band-wagon jumping when it comes to my sports loyalties, I thought I'd clarify/chronicle each obsession and hopefully better explain how they all began.

NFL: My mom's entire family is from Wisconsin, so I grew up rooting for Brett Favre and the Packers. Seriously, he's 37 now and in his 17th season, which means that he started playing for them when I was nine. He's the only QB I've ever known and I don't know what Packers fans will do when he retires. Oh the horror. You should not willingly admit to being a Packers fan in Bears country.

Even though I grew up in NH, I didn't start rooting for the Patriots until Tom Brady came along. I'm sorry, yes, I jumped on the "The Pats Can Actually Win When They Don't Have A Shitty Quarterback" bandwagon.

Maybe I don't have the right to root for the Pats because I didn't technically suffer through all the Drew Bledsoe years of failure, and when the Packers played the Pats in the Super Bowl in '97 I actually rooted for the Packers. I'm a bad person.

In fact, the exact moment I started rooting for the Pats was during that game vs. the Raiders (p.s. NOBODY likes the Raiders) when that very controversial Brady fumble was ruled an incompletion and they went on to win and make the AFC Championship game thanks to Adam Vinatieri's field goal that he made in what was basically a white-out snow storm.

Since then, I've rooted for both teams. This confuses people. A typical conversation:

THEM: “So you’re from NH, so you root for the Pats then?”

ME: “Yes and also the Packers.”

THEM (regardless of their NFL affiliation UNLESS it is also Green Bay): “THE PACKERS?? WHY THE PACKERS? WHY WOULD YOU ROOT FOR THEM, WHY?"

ME: “um, I, well, my mom’s family is from Wisconsin so I…wait, why are you running away?"

Ultimately, when Favre retires, I think it will be harder for me to root for the Pack, just because I am so used to him being on the team. Warming up to Backup will be very hard.

When you’ve rooted for the same person for a long time, it is so hard to find new ones to root for. Which brings me to…

Tennis: For some reason, tennis was always a sport I could understand. (Football took me a while; I mean keeping track of the penalties alone is enough to make my head spin: pass interference, ineligible receiver, too many men on the field, unnecessary roughness, what a first down is, you get the idea).

Anyway, I always rooted for Pete Sampras and no one else. So you can imagine my disdain when he went through his two-year slump of winning NOTHING (I kind of stopped watching tennis for a while, every match he was in it was like, this man is a professional and future hall-of-famer? Are you sure?). When he retired I needed to find a new player to latch on to. It was initially Lleyton Hewitt, but he’s kind of racist, then it was Andy Roddick, but he’s in a horrible slump, then it was Tim Henman just because the poor guy could never get past the quarters in any grand slam, and now, since he’s the only player who can beat Roger Federer, it is Rafael Nadal. (I also went through the James Blake/David Nalbadian phases, but those didn’t last long either, I just can’t commit.)

Tennis has been much less exciting since Federer started beating everyone, all the time, regardless of pretty much every circumstance except his kryptonite, the surface de Clay.

College Football: Okay, this one, I’m sure, is fairly obvious. My obsession with Miami (the U) football started my sophomore (and last) year there when I went to the FSU game in the Orange Bowl and watched us beat them for the first time in I don’t know how many years thanks to Ken Dorsey’s touchdown pass to Jermey Shockey with under two minutes to go.

Of course then I transferred and everyone assumed my football loyalties would transfer with me. Not the case my friends.

The obsession with KD has recently waned (might have something to do with the restraining order, why does he act like it is wrong of me to hide in his bushes??) as I have finally come to terms with the fact that he’ll most likely never take another snap in the NFL, what with him being a fourth-stringer for Cleveland and all. I used to say, “He’s the best quarterback ever,” and usually would get back, “well if I had that offensive line, I would be too.” Also, he was throwing to Andre Johnson and Kellen Winslow and Shockey and had Santana Moss and Clinton Portis and Bubba Franks and all those other players who made him look brilliant.

Although, you’d think he’d have equal success in the NFL since there, in theory, are no bad players in the NFL, but you could also argue in the NFL you have to weight more than, say, I do, and I don’t think he does. And he’s 6’4’’. (Of course I weigh like 700 pounds but still, a professional football player should weigh more than me.)

Of course once Dorsey left Miami and Brock Berlin took over and started to throw like Chris Rix (i.e. into triple coverage) I hopped off the wagon for a while. Berlin was an atrocious QB, in terms of his decision-making skills at least.

Right now, I’m kind of bored with Miami. They aren’t great and they aren’t terrible (though they looked terrible in last weekend’s pathetic loss to UNC).

Illinois is doing good for once, which is kind of exciting, but this season I just find myself rooting more against certain teams: OSU, USC than for other ones: Miami, ILL, Michigan.

Why would I root for Michigan, you ask? Good question. My mom went there. And I wanted to go there, originally, but apparently my SAT scores weren't high enough to get in (is 600 combined a bad score? Just wondering.)

We all know why I hate OSU, why do I hate USC, you ask? They go undefeated for two seasons and they’re the greatest team ever (not so great anymore, are we, now that we know how badly Reggie Bush broke the rules) but when Miami did it they were overrated.

College Basketball: I never cared for college basketball (and STILL hate the NBA) until I interned at Villanova and it took me a good 10 games to get into the sport. The fouls in college basketball confuse me (even now after watching millions of games); I still don’t know the difference between a point guard/forward/center…I mean isn’t everyone just trying to score? It took me half the season to figure out what the Duke-biased a-holes at ESPN and Sportsline meant when they said we had no post-presence. Well they can take our first Sweet 16 appearance since 1988 (and Elite 8 appearance the next season) and shove it up their asses. Oh we beat #2 and undefeated Kansas by over 20 points? What? We suck? They broke down and it was a fluke? Uggh I hate the ESPN bias sometimes.

MLB: I am probably most guilty of band wagon jumping here as I literally jumped on during the Red Sox World Series parade in downtown Boston (I wish I could have been there, alas I was in Philadelphia). Of course I watched them rally from three games down in the ALCS and was probably on my way then but this is the band wagon jumping that makes the least sense. I’ve never liked baseball – though it has grown on me the past few years. I have no reason to like any other baseball team, and I don’t, though now you could argue I should be a Cubs fan (I guess they can be my NL team by default).

Now I just sit and drool over Josh Beckett and Jonathon Papelbon. When the Red Sox were in town in August I went to a game and got to see David Ortiz hit two home runs – both off the first pitch.

And now, I really want to see them win another World Series. But again, I haven't truly suffered. I didn't know who Bucky Dent was or that whole through the legs thing in the 1986 WS.

You can't accuse me of only rooting for teams who win though -- I have never and will never root for the following teams: Ohio State, USC, Syracuse, UNC, UConn, FSU, Kansas (rock chalk jay BLAH), Florida, Joakim Noah (I know, he's not a team, but still), did I already say USC?

Here's hoping Papelbon can close the deal!!

who blabbed?

2007-10-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

I just now at work received not one but THREE emails offering me products to enhance the size of my penis. Segmented marketing at its best people.

Why oh WHY??

2007-10-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

As I was logging into My Space earlier, I saw something extremely disturbing. An ad for Saw IV, in theaters October 26. Saw and Saw II were bad enough. So bad, in fact, that I couldn't see Saw III, as the first two made me lose enough sleep. I was afraid as I was coming home at night some freak-ass in a pig/boar/whatever that animal was suit would jump out of nowhere and the next thing I know I'd wake up chained to a pipe in a room where I'd be forced to recite all the lyrics to every Britney Spears song in 90 seconds or be gassed to death.

Since I missed Saw III, I have no idea what they did that would make Saw IV necessary.

I saw the original with Tatiana in Philadelphia then the sequel in San Diego and it was actually Saw II that had me looking over my shoulder for weeks. And I really don't scare easily (anymore). For example I thought The Ring was a joke. And the Grudge.

These movies wouldn't be so successful if they didn't open on Halloween weekend every year -- hello marketing.

desperation, population...?

2007-10-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Way back in May, I posted examples of the missed encounters that appear on Craigslist, so I decided to revisit and see what people are posting these days.

Example 1:
You walked past me outside of Wrigley Field on Sunday afternoon and left me adrift in a wake of enchantment...

You: mesmerizing dark eyes framed in a heavenly face by long, silky dark hair. Floating past on slender legs of a goddess not of this earth. Gloriously asian features, a sublime smile and shorts that would melt the polar ice cap.

Me: Averting my eyes from a beauty brighter than a thousand suns. A mere mortal of average height wearing jeans and a blue Ralph Lauren shirt. Short brown hair, green eyes and a stupid look on my face.

If you think this may have been you, let me know and I can send a pic..

Desperation Level: acute -- someone get this man on eharmony, stat!

Example 2:
You wore a blue and white baseball-T and carried dark blue garment bags. I fumbled with my messenger bag trying to get out of your way. You are a stunningly beautiful woman. Just thought you should know.

Desperation Level: unknown. he's not asking for a meeting but that could be his subtle way of asking for a meeting.

Example 3:
I saw you and I fell in love. You were wearing blue jeans and green shoes. I was your man in the blue uniform. It was about 8:30 p.m. when you walked in. You sat down and worked on something. I heard you sneeze and I blessed you. You bewitched me. Contact me. PLEASE!

Desperation Level: severe -- he's requesting contact in all caps AND with an exclamation point.

My oh my what DID we do before the internet?

don't drink the cheap stuff

2007-09-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

On Friday night I was hanging out with one of my friends and while we were trying to decide what to do we also decided to make some drinks. Well I was drinking bloody mary's (yes at night, shut up, I like them) and it was made with this disgusting, horrible, cheap vodka. I think cheap vodka makes you dumber, because fast forward to the end of the night and I left my brand new cell phone in a cab and was unable to get it back. (Read: plastered to the bathroom floor so I didn't have the sense to immediately use Kate's cell to call my cell and see if I could get it back).

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

2007-09-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

This whole Patriots cheating thing is really bothering me -- I can't believe Belechick was having someone film the Jets sideline and P.S. how long has this been going on? Although the camera was confiscated in the first quarter and the Pats went on to win anyway and then shellacked San Diego this past week, so maybe none of it even matters. But I'd like to think that the three Super Bowls AREN'T tainted and this was just a one-time fluke.

I guess I don't know enough about the policies/procedures/rules in the NFL to write an educated post on this, plus I'm really too lazy to learn them all -- that's what the folks at ESPN and CBS Sportsline get paid to do.

So, I will just move on to some other current events in the world of sports.

Notre Dame being 0-3: I'm sure Tyrone Willingham is loving this. Charlie Weis did a decent job with Willingham's recruits but now his own recruits can't do jack. It is satisfying (in a sick way) to see them fail miserably this year. All the hype surrounding Brady Quinn was unfounded because he never won a bowl game or a big game for that matter and it was like he was just getting the hype because he played for ND and ND is so traditional and so dignified and so GAG ME.

The Yankees closing the gap on the Red Sox: Happens every year. EVERY YEAR. Is ANYONE surprised? Also does not help that Manny is injured. Big Papi is sort of injured. Schilling sucks. Dice-K is a Jok-E (see what I did there? funny, right?)

The Eagles being 0-2: I must be an incredibly mean person to have smirked when I read on ESPN that Donovan McNabb was booed off the field last night. I'm telling you, nine months in Philadelphia was enough time to discover that his holier-than-thou attitude is completely unjustified.

And don't even get me started on Miami.

10 really bad ideas

2007-09-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

As summer comes to a close and I reflect back on my first four months in Chicago, I'd like to share with you my list of top ten things you should not do when in the throes of a weekend bender and/or things you should not do that would LEAD to a bender. Not that I've done any of these things, I'm simply gleaning from stories I've heard. Just so we're clear.

1. DO NOT text message someone asking them to make out with you when you're sitting across the table from them. If you already know the answer you shouldn't have to ask.

2. DO NOT drink an entire bottle of wine on an empty stomach. Bad things happen when you do this. Like text messaging someone who is sitting across the table from you and asking them to make out with you.

3. DO NOT throw your phone on the sidewalk because you're mad at the person who just sent you a text message. Throwing your phone on the sidewalk will break your phone, not them.

4. DO NOT call your poor friend in NC crying and telling her you're going to die alone, basing this realization off ONE My Space message (that was, on the surface, actually positive, until it became negative).

5. DO NOT wait until 4 a.m. to pack for a trip when you have to leave for the airport at 6 a.m. because you opted to attend a party rather than pack. You will regret that.

6. DO NOT drink heavily at a Cubs game the night before you have to move. You will regret that.

7. DO NOT ever think you're being rational when you drunk, because you aren't, so it's not a good idea to get mad at someone because you're probably wrong.

8. DO NOT drunk dial the last person who broke your heart begging for advice regarding the next person you think will break your heart. If they don't answer, consider yourself lucky, then play dumb when they asked you why you called.

9. DO NOT tell the person you're kind of seeing that you made out with someone else the night before. Liquid courage is not always a good thing.

and finally

10. DO NOT drink beer before liquor. They made up the phrase "beer before liquor, never sicker" for a REASON.

am I reaching for the stars here?

2007-09-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

So basically NH is once again ruining my life -- oh yeah, and if you feel that you'd not like to read a post of me seriously bitching, then move along (I usually go for a more sarcastic tone here but rarely am I serious) -- and read:this blog.

I applied for a new job and basically have been told I'll be getting an offer as soon as my background check is complete. What's the hold-up, you ask? The State of NH is taking its sweet-ass fucking time verifying that I do not have a criminal background. I mean seriously, is it too much to ask that they actually move at the same pace as the rest of the country or am I reaching for the fucking stars? I told my dad (via email) that they probably found out I've been bad-mouthing their precious state and they're currently in the process of fabricating a criminal history for me.

why do I even bother???

2007-09-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know WHY I decided to climb out of bed around 11:30 last night to check the result of the Federer/Roddick match on ESPN. I predicted Rogie would win in three sets and he did. They should just rename every single tennis tournament to the Roger Federer show. Roddick still claims he can beat Federer. It has happened once, of course it was in some no-name tourney that no one cares about. When it matters, he can't beat him. And with Nadal eliminated, there is no point in even watching the men's final because I personally don't want to see Rogie win his fourth straight U.S. Open, which will pull him within two Grand Slams of tying Pete's record.

Apparently, Andy didn't have time to read my blog, I think my insight into how to beat RF could have been very helpful.

M Go BLAH

2007-09-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

How the hell did Michigan lose to Appalachian State??

Ranked-fifth-in-the-nation-and-a-national-championship-contender Michigan.

I'm speechless.

Also, I'm not even going to get in to the quarterfinal US Open match-up of Roger Federer and Andy Roddick -- we all know Andy will get his ass handed to him in a two-hour, three-set shellacking.

Roger is 13-1 lifetime against Andy. Here's what Rogie had to say:
"It's a great record, but it doesn't help me," Federer said. "We'll see how it goes. Andy's always tough at the U.S. Open." I'm shocked he got that out with a straight face.

Since no one except Nadal (on clay) can figure out how to beat Rogie, I have come up with the 10 best ways to beat him -- if someone could tell Andy before their match, I'm sure he'd be victorious.

1. Spray Federer with his own cologne from the Roger Federer cologne line...should be distracting enough for him to miss all forehands.
2. If spraying him in general doesn't work, try spraying him in the face area to minimize eyesight.
3. Shortly before the match, make him read all his past quotes during press conferences and/or his autobiography -- should put him to sleep.
4. Blind him with his own ego.
5. Make his half of the court clay
6. Have Lloyd Carr devise a fail-proof strategy for him. (if Carr is not available since Michigan's unprecedented nose dive out of both the AP and coaches poll have everyone in Ann Arbor calling for his head he might be in hiding, get strategy from Charlie Weis or Bobby Bowden)
7. Let Pete Carroll in to the locker room so they can have an argument over who is better at what they do, which will lead to one or both of them losing all hearing due to the inevitable ear-bleeding.
8. Why is USC always #1 in college football? I hate them.
9. Bridget Moynahan knows a thing or too about revenge. Wait, what am I talking about again?
10. I'm tired.

party schools

2007-08-20T13:46:00.000-07:00

According to the Princeton Review, the University of New Hampshire ranks #7 on its list of top party schools. Let me tell you why. What the hell else is there to DO in Durham?

U of I came in at #16, which I am sure is comforting for my parents. I don't know how it ranked when I was there, these are the 2008 rankings, but, I'm sure it was close to #16 because, what the hell else is there to DO in Urbana or Champaign? Don't get me wrong, loved U of I -- but it is sandwiched in between two really big corn fields. In fact, all of U of I's rankings have to do with parties: #14 for lots of beer and # 13 for Greek life (these are in addition to the overall party ranking).

Now, let's look at Brown, where my lovely sister went:

Sixth toughest school to get into (behind Harvard, Princeton, MIT -- where my dad went, Yale and Stanford
Fifth best college radio station
13th best college theater
Second happiest student body in the nation

Now behold Miami's credentials:

18th best career placement services -- I am not buying this, they couldn't help me get an unpaid internship at an ad agency.
Fifth most diverse student body -- I'd definitely believe that
18th most beautiful campus -- I'm sorry, I REFUSE to believe that Mount Holyoke and Colgate should be ahead of UM in this category. Also, why is PRINCETON number two??
#17 for "lots of race/class interaction" -- please most people sleep off hangovers in class. Not that I ever did. I'm just saying. Other people.

On to Michigan, where my mom went:

#7 in "students pack the stadium"
#9 in "jock schools"

That's all?? Ouch.

moved (again x 8 million)

2007-08-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I moved for like the eight millionth time since my first move ever, that being to the good old U for my freshman year of college. The reason for this latest move: Our lease was up July 31, Nick couldn't negotiate out of the hefty rent increase and we were all sick of losing sleep due to the construction on the roof on weekend mornings.

Seriously, last Saturday I'd had it when, at 8am, the guys on the roof were blaring and singing along to "Lady" by Styx.

So, I decided to chronicle all the different places I've lived NOW before even I forget how many places it has been. (I am counting dorm room moves as well, I don't know if this is cheating or not, but whatever). (Also, I am not counting moves back to my mom's.)

Move 1: Concord, NH to Coral Gables, FL (Aug 1999)
Roommate: Kandyce
Destination: Pearson 535
Length of residence: 9 months

I will always have a soft spot for both Pearson Residential Hall, my first dorm, and Kandyce, my first roommate. Pearson was a good dorm because (among other things) it was co-ed and we only had to share a bathroom with two other girls. Every night at 11 pm we watched the Golden Girls for a study break. Mary and Kara usually joined. Four of us watching meant each was assigned the GG she most resembled. I was Rose. By default. I swear.

Kandyce was a good roommate because she was considerate and grounded and funny and an overall GREAT person. She also came up with two unique nicknames for me (all my friends call me Reeves): Revas and Revarella. I don't remember how they came about but we laughed a lot.

Move 2: Concord, NH to Coral Gables, FL (Aug 2000)
Roommate: Tania
Destination: Pearson something or other
Length of residence: 1 semester

Tania was never in our room. Literally. Her boyfriend, Jason, had his own apartment so she always stayed there. I had a lot of privacy but sometimes was lonely.

Except for the time Bob spent the night in my room.

Bob and I met in a class freshman year, then he took a leave of absence for the fall semester, but then showed up on campus to settle some matters with the U so he could return in the spring. He had nowhere to stay so I was guilt tripped into offering up Tania's bed. I remember him asking me if I wanted him to tuck me in. I said no. I decided having an extra bed was bad. This led to move three (actually what really led to the next move was Melissa's roommate moving out and her and I spending so much time together anyway it just made sense).

Move 3: Pearson something or other to Pearson something or other -- Jan 2001
Roommate: Melissa
Destination: Pearson something or other
Length of residence: 1 semester
Living with Melissa was fun. We always went out. I didn't necessarily like the people we were going out with (until the very end of the semester when I had already committed to transferring, go figure).

Move 4: Concord, NH to Champaign, IL (August 2001)
Roommate: Kara
Destination: Sherman Hall
Length of residence: just under 9 months

What. A. Disaster. Initially, Kara and I got along. That is, until she started smoking pot in our room on a daily basis. She also made fun of me for not being a pot head. Yeah Kara, please. Make fun of me for not getting so high and drunk every night that I slept with like, nine guys in one semester, while having a boyfriend, which also led to an unplanned pregnancy. Thumbs up! Luckily, she moved out after one semester to move in with her pot-smoking friend Kristin. Kristin, I completely hated. She was just a horrible person. I don't need to list the reasons here. Just use your imagination.

Move 5: Champaign to Urbana (April 2002)
Roommate(s): Initially Lindsay, Amanda and Rachel (until August), then it was Whitney, Jamie, and...crap. What was her name? She had red hair.
Destination: University Commons Apartments, Lincoln Ave
Length of residence: 13 months
I left the dorms early (unofficially) to move in to the apartment I was to live in for senior year. I was subleasing from Amanda (different one from the Amanda listed above). My first three roommates had been Amanda's and were all leaving when the lease was up to move to different apartments with the same leasing company. Since we all signed individual leases, the company could place whoever they wanted in my apartment . This is, of course, something I knew, but thought Amanda would still be at U of I, and we'd be living in the apartment together come August with two other people. But, she had to leave for health reasons, and I was still locked in the lease.

So I got placed with three freshman. Freshman at Parkland Community College. That was barrels of fun, let me tell you. Their boyfriends were always there. Always. Leaching off them, annoying me, asking me to buy them alcohol. Jamie wound up getting pregnant. (What is it about living with me that drives people to have unsafe sex?) I kind of feel bad that I can't remember the name of the fourth girl. I want to say it was Jamie, but I don't think I lived with two girls who had the same name. Seriously, what was her name. Anyway. I wasn't home much that year. Maybe it WAS Jamie. Help me.

Move 6: Concord, NH to Dover, NH (August 2003)
Roommate(s): Audra
Destination: Rollins Rd. baby!
Length of residence: roughly ten months

This was good and bad.

Good: I got to live with Audra, the rent was cheap, the apartment was OK for being so cheap, I was close to Portsmouth, which is where lots of fun stuff happens. Bad: I hate hate HATED my job, my commute was an hour each way, I was generally a miserable person.

Also, I was rarely there, so I think most of the housekeeping responsibilities went to Audra, which I feel bad about. Starting in November when I had that internship with the Wolves I would some days be gone from 6:45am-midnight. Eek.

Once I got the internship at 'Nova, rather than sticking it out at the radio station, I quit my job before I had even found another one to tide me over for the summer.

Move 7: Dover, NH to Concord, NH (June 2004)
Roommate(s): Lisa
Destination: Peterson Circle
Length of residence: not even two months

Lisa tells me her parents said I can spend the summer at their house, rent free, with Lisa. They spent most of the summer at their house on Lake Winnipesaukee. I managed to land a job with one of the rental car companies at the airport, which was the worst job ever (minus working at the MB deli ----- ugggggh) -- also it was part-time, so it was a good thing I didn't have to pay rent, because I would have been screwed. Lisa and I spent a lot of time in Portsmouth. It was a fun summer but went by too quickly.

Move 8: Concord, NH to Philadelphia, PA (ok Bryn Mawr but would you have known where that was?) (August 2004)
Roommate(s): the lady I was renting the room from plus four other people whose names I will never remember because I never saw them. It might have only been three other people. See. I have no idea.
Destination: County Line Rd house
Length of residence: Aug - December
Shirley, the lady I rented from, was crazy. The house rules were out of control. It was worse than living with my mother. At least my mother fed me when I did chores. And gave me an allowance. I guess I remember two of my roommates, Danny and Vikram. But I swear there were others. I'm losing my mind. Whatever, I was interning at Villanova so I was never at home and never saw them. The reason I had to live there was because I was making $1000/mo and the rent was $290. Then in December, when we got the heating bill, I knew I had a problem. Shirley used oil to heat the house (what was this, 1850) so the bill was like seven million dollars and I quickly figured out I would not be able to afford to eat until April at the earliest.

Move 9: Bryn Mawr, PA to Glenolden, PA (Jan 2005)
Roommate(s): Mary Anne, my savior
Destination: Brookwood Ln
Length of residence: just under five months

Mary Anne, the secretary in our basketball office, offered to let me stay with her and pay her whatever I could for rent. This was after I was in tears at work over the oil bill and our secretary, Leslie, started telling everyone of my predicament (Leslie had a huge heart but an even bigger mouth, though in this case I guess it was okay). I stayed with Mares and her dog Toby and could sleep at night because I wasn't worried about how I was going to pay my share of the oil bill.

Move 10: Bryn Mawr, PA to San Marcos, CA (June 2005)
Roommate(s): Nina, Nick
Destination: Aurora Ave
Length of residence: four months
My first place in San Diego. At first I liked Nick and Nina. Then Nina started to act kind of snide and Nick basically told me I was fat and ugly. I am not even kidding. One morning I got up and less than five minutes later, while making coffee, he says to me, "You should really be at the gym." Then, a short time later (a week or so), he told me he was having friends over one morning (also about ten minutes after I'd gotten up) and said, "so you might want to make yourself look more presentable." I should have smacked him.

Move 11: San Marcos, CA to Vista, CA (Oct 2005)
Roommate(s): Michael, Katarina, Eric, Naomi (then Vince)
Destination: Opal Ridge
Length of residence: one year, five months (hey, a record!!)

No complaints here, we had a ton of space, nice house, all got along, no huge problems, could do our own thing, etc., etc. I guess my only complaint was living in Vista, the never ending land of strip malls. But, it was close to work.

Move 12: Vista, CA to Chicago, IL (April 2007)
Roommate(s): Nick and Brandon
Destination: Wrigley Field, literally
Length of residence: four months (hey -- not a record!!)
Fab location, great roommates.
Waking up to jack hammers on roof at 8am on Saturdays=bite me.

Move 13: Chicago to Chicago (August 2007)
Roommate(s): Kate and Stephanie
Destination: Lincoln Park
Length of residence: 24 hours and counting

I am dying in this apartment. I am seriously never moving again. For at least a year.

stupidity never wins and I need a planner

2007-07-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

I missed TWO appointments today and it's only lunch time. That's talent. I had a doctor's appointment before work, which I thought was tomorrow, and an appointment with my therapist at lunch time, which I thought was Aug. 16. I need to buy myself a planner b/c scribbling down the date and time on the legal pad on my desk is clearly not cutting it.

Also, clearly all my ranting and raving in May over the lawsuit Josh Hancock's family filed after his death made it back to them and really spoke to them because today they dropped the lawsuit, or as I've nicknamed it, "The-most-pointless-lawsuit-to-ever-exist (besides the one where that lady sued McDonald's because she spilled hot coffee on herself), I-find-it-insulting, and-I'm-not-even-a Cardinals-fan."

you call that writing??

2007-07-17T17:44:00.001-07:00

So on my way home from work today I picked up a Cosmopolitan (the magazine, not the drink) (yes I realize it is the trashiest magazine out there, I needed something light to read with dinner). While reading, I was once again appalled at the section entitled Red-Hot Read, where they basically take one of many sex scenes from one of many trashy novels and try to get you to read it and then revert back to the article in the current issue about 101 ways to (insert euphemism for sex here). I never read this section because it depresses me -- crap like this gets published but I cant? Although I guess if my options were to be: a) a Cosmo Hot-Read, b) a Danielle Steel novel turned Lifetime movie staring Tori Spelling or c) unpublished, I guess I'd have to go with "c."

But today, I thought I'd share an excerpt so you too can feel my pain. This month, the excerpt comes from a book called Your Mouth Drives Me Crazy by HelenKay Dimon. (Is that what I need to do to become a legitimate writer, combine my first and middle name?)

(Oh if you need some background, a recently dumped "sassy" girl decides to go to Hawaii for some R&R and on her FIRST day there gets "mixed up with some local criminals," kidnapped and tossed over the side of a boat. Miraculously, a handsome yet sensitive police chief saves her when she washes ashore and takes her home with him.)

Ok, behold:

"You have too many clothes on," he whispered against her wet lips. He (censored) (redacted)(you can't do that on television!!!). She grew (insert synonym for something I cannot repeat). Before she could blink, she lay there (inappropriate) (how is that even possible?) (does she do lots of yoga). (Mandatory break to promote safe sex).

Balancing her (edited) on his (censored) he pressed her body against his (this is nothing but complete trash and I can't believe this woman is a published author).

Okay so I jumped around a little but you get the gist. I am seriously disturbed.

my head hurts...again

2007-07-13T09:01:00.001-07:00

Last night my friends Jon, Katie and I were at an Irish Pub in River North (at least I think we were in River North) having a great time and minding our own business. Now, I should say that I know I'm a loud person, I have a loud voice, I get it, maybe it comes from all those years in elementary and junior high when I was known by all the teachers as "Miriam's sister" and literally had to make myself heard. But I digress. All of a sudden one of the two guys at the table next to us leans over to Jon and says, "excuse me, but your friends are being too loud." In a bar. A BAR. We weren't at the fucking library or a Cubs game, where silence is mandatory. Both of them were completely heinous too, which may sound mean, but come on, when you are so uptight that you ask people not to talk loudly in a BAR, something is not right.

my head hurts

2007-06-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have this friend. I'll call him College Friend (and I'm not specifying which college, since I did go to like, five).

College Friend has a girlfriend. For whatever reason, CF won't break up with her even though he has voiced frustration over her actions for the entire duration of the relationship (about two years).

On Saturday morning I woke up to find five missed calls and two text messages from CF ranging from around 1:30-2 a.m. My phone is always on vibrate so I didn't hear any of these incoming calls or texts, which is good, because most people know that when you wake me from a blissful sleep, I am not happy.

So anyway, I was going down to visit a friend from U of I, Amanda, who kind of lives in the middle of nowhere -- it is actually so relaxing down there. Crops galore, farms, restaurants that take and cash checks, 50 cent drafts, no screaming drunk people outside at 3am...a wonderful place. We're out on Saturday night with her friends when I start getting text messages from CF. I had given my cell phone to Amanda because I've developed a recent bad habit of drunk text messaging people that I shouldn't and decided if she had my phone that would solve the problem.

He's asking where I am, so she responds "L'erable," which was the name of the town we were in at the time (she could have said the name of the bar, the name of the town near by he might recognize, the name of the street, but she did a brilliant job of confusing him, so he wouldn't know where I was).

He responds back asking where it is and if it is a gay club.

Then he writes another message just telling me to come to his apartment.

Then one that says, "seriously, where is this place?"

Yet another message saying he's heard of L'erable, just doesn't know where it is.

So, I've finally had it with the text messages (keep in mind the only response I've sent was the one with the name of the town) -- I'm not in town anyway, I'm sick of being treated like a back up/2am call girl, of which I am neither, so I respond back with the following: "Manwhore." (Side note: this doesn't actually apply to him but when you're drunk and mad sometimes you say things you don't mean). (Side note 2: my phone will automatically capitalize the first letter of the first word of a text message).

His response (and the purpose of this post since it was the greatest response EVER):

"Where is Manwhore? I thought you were at L'erable."

Then he asks for cross streets.

Yeah. I don't even know what to say.

excuse YOU

2007-06-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

So on the El this morning I found a seat, a rare occurrence during rush hour. This girl had her purse half on the seat I was about to occupy so I figured when I went to sit down, she'd move it. Wrong. She didn't move it, OR acknowledge that I had even sat next to her so I was half on the seat for the duration of my train ride. Granted, it was only about 15 minutes, but I thought that was extremely rude. And given the fact that a) I am usually passive aggressive with strangers because I HATE awkward confrontations and b) I was afraid she'd cap me if I said something (not gonna lie, she looked like someone I didn't want to mess with), I just sat there and stewed in my discomfort rather than asking her to move her fucking purse three or four goddamn inches. You know, I did the whole arms crossed, heavy sighing thing hoping she'd get the hint. But her ass was dense. And rude. And Ugly.

After getting off the train I did make sure to turn around and glare at her through the windows. I just figured it was a common courtesy to move your shit if someone wants to sit in an unoccupied seat next to you. Apparently that is not the case with her.

UPDATE: Forgot to mention I went to a Barenaked Ladies concert last night with Kate. They were amazing as usual.

this is hilarious

2007-06-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah, THIS is just too funny. Minor league teams rarely get PR, so I guess this would be the way to go.

I am too lazy to sum this up so here it is, straight from CBS Sportsline:

FORT MYERS, Florida -- A minor league baseball team will poke fun at the University of Florida coach who backed out of his deal with the Orlando Magic when the Fort Myers Miracle host "Billy Donovan Night" on June 20.

Just like Donovan escaped his five-year, $27.5 million contract with the Magic, fans can try to negotiate their way out of their ticket purchase.

"It's something to waffle about," said Andrew Seymour, assistant general manager and promotions director for the Miracle, a Single-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins in the Florida State League. "If you're not seeing entertainment, you can opt out of your contract."

The contract, in this case, is the ticket. Fans will have up to the first three innings to restructure their deal, but even that's negotiable.

The price of the ticket, the seat location and even a buyout can be arranged. Part of the negotiating process will involve making a free throw.

The Miracle will have Fort Myers defense attorney Michael Hornung on site to negotiate settlements. Hornung attended the same high school -- St. Agnes on Long Island, New York -- as Donovan.

Hornung said he might be more hardline with visiting Tampa Yankees fans.

"If it's a Yankee fan, I'm going to tell them to go take their seat and sit there for the whole nine innings," Hornung said. "I have free reign. I'm judge and jury."

A Fort Myers man who shares the coach's name is scheduled to throw out the first pitch. After that, waffles -- to poke fun at the coach's "waffling" - will be served. And hair gel, mocking Donovan's slick look, will be handed out.

A drawing to win free Gators basketball tickets will be used as a "bonus option" to entice fans to honor their contract.

Billy Donovan has now become the butt of Single A baseball jokes -- not a good sign.

Live Blog: French Open Finals

2007-06-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

Hey I'm up early enough to catch the French Open.

Nadal took the first set, 6-3. Federer leads the second set 5-4.

Set point for Federer.

Choke.

Damn, he didn't choke.

This is going to be a long match. I need to make coffee.

Nadal takes game one of the third set. Maybe he can take the next three sets.

Wow, Nadal has an amazing backhand. Sorry Rogie, better luck next time.

Nadal broke Federer, up 2-0.

This is going to be really tedious, think I'll just drink my coffee and enjoy the game.

Oooh Nadal is about to go up 3-0. Oops. Spoke too soon. Oh there we go. Word.

LSAT's=huh??

2007-06-09T09:16:00.001-07:00

No, I'm not taking the LSAT's. Really, what I'm doing is trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I am not going to go even further into debt to attend law school when a) I don't have the backbone to be a laywer and b) who the hell would give me a law degree?

However, I did google "sample LSAT tests" just to see what the questions look like, and now I know why I never took them. I can't think like this:

At Markham University, students in the History class are required to meet with the teaching assistant once per semester. The teaching assistant offers meeting times on one day, one meeting time in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening. The students in the History class this semester are Frank, Gina, Harry, Jon, Kaspar, Leon, Marc, and Nino. The meetings with the teaching assistant must conform to the following conditions:
The teaching assistant will not meet with only one student at a time.
The teaching assistant must meet with at least one student in each of the available meeting times.
Frank and Jon cannot attend the same meeting.
Kaspar and Marc cannot attend the same meeting.
If Gina attends the morning meeting, then Kaspar must attend the evening meeting.
If Jon attends the afternoon meeting, then Harry must attend the afternoon meeting.
The number of students who meet in the morning must be the same as the number of students who meet in the evening.
1. Which of the following is an acceptable arrangement of student meetings?
A) Morning: Frank, Gina, Nino; Afternoon: Harry, Jon; Evening: Kaspar, Leon, Marc
B) Morning: Jon; Afternoon: Frank, Gina, Harry, Leon, Marc, Nino; Evening: Kaspar
C) Morning: Gina, Marc; Afternoon: Harry, Jon, Leon, Nino; Evening: Frank, Kaspar
D) Morning: Harry, Leon, Nino; Afternoon: Frank, Gina, Kaspar; Evening: Jon, Marc
E) Morning: Frank, Gina, Harry; Afternoon: Jon, Marc; Evening: Kaspar, Leon, Nino

The correct answer is C -- of course that would have been my guess. OK, so they are doing construction on our roof, started at 8:30 am and I didn't fall asleep until after 5 -- you weren't expecting a quality blog post, were you??

its back on

2007-06-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

The Josh Hancock saga continues. Last week, The Division of Alcohol and Tobacco Control decided that Mike Shannon's restaurant did not know Hancock was drunk as they served him alcohol continuously for over three hours (makes sense, right?) but now based on new witness testimony they are reopening the investigation. Okay, seriously, I'm telling you...no one's fault but Josh's. Honestly.

I love these e-mails

2007-06-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

This is not the first time I have received an e-mail like this (usually I just delete them), but today I decided to share with the world (allow me to share my commentary in red):

FROM: Mr garuba zongo.
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
BANK OF AFRICA. (BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO
Dear friend
(TOP SECRET)
I am Mr garuba zongo (a scam artist...anyone with that big of a title would capitalize his name, right?). the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina-faso (this place actually does exist, I googled it) in West Africa with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction (read: by beneficial to both of us I mean beneficial to me if you are dumb enough to buy this story).
During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came
Across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died on 31st October 1999 in a plane crash (just to see if there even WAS a plane crash on this date, I also googled that and found out an Egypt Air flight en route from NYC to Cairo crashed off the coast of Massachusetts -- that's nice, exploit real life tragedy to try and prey on people's stupidity) and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development. (If that were true, why would they wait until June of 2007 to do anything about it...? Stuck in probate? I think not.)
Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself and
partners to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful
During the time of execution. (This sentence is so grammatically incorrect I don't even know where to start)
The said amount was U.S $7.2M (seven million Two hundred United States dollars) (Wouldn't a BANKER know that $7.2M is seven million, two hundered THOUSAND dollars, or did I sleep through that day in third grade math??). As it may interest you to know, I got
Your impressive information (read: I hope you are a moron) through the Bukinabe chamber of commerce on foreign business relations here in Ouaga (being that I've never participated in foreign relations of ANY kind minus sort of dating someone from Romania for like, a day, I seriously doubt the validity of this statement). Burkina-faso.
Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the
bonafide next of kin to the deceased, get the required approval and Transfer
this money to a foreign account has been put in place and directives and
needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your
interest and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this
great business opportunity. (I'm sorry...what??)
In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this
country as a civil servant(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a Foreign
account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during The time of transfer because I work in this bank (not allowed to operate an account that is sitting in his bank...yeah, that makes sense). This is the actual reason Why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and also present a Foreign account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the
Correspondent branch of the bank where the whole money will be remitted from to your own designation bank account. (Allow me to translate -- give me access to your bank account so I can steal all your money.)
I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free (read: for me, not you...for you, well you'll get screwed) . On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% (a little over two million dollars that actually doesn't exist) of the total sum as gratification, while 5% will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills, while 65% will be for me. Please, you have been advised to keep "top secret" as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you. (read: by "retire from service" I mean drop off the face of the planet so if you were dumb enough to fall for this scam you'll never find me!!)
I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you Confirm
the money in your account (yes, I'll confirm I have $10 in my account...buddy, you just asked me for an account to use, you never said there had to be money in it...I am too smart for YOU!!!) and ask me to come down to your country For subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you Advice (I am capitalizing random words to confuse you) us to invest in. All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when
I hear from you.
I look forward to receive your phone number and email so that I get back to
you.
Yours faithfully,
Mr garuba zongo. (An 11-yr old sitting in his parents' basement)

well, that didn't take long

2007-06-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

On Thursday I was still at work when news broke that Billy Donovan was bolting his sweet deal at Florida for an even sweeter deal with the Orlando Magic. While he would probably be fired after five years because no college coach EVER succeeds in the NBA, you can't blame him for selling out for almost $30 million dollars. I mean yeah, I am not a fan of him or Florida but I am not going to sit here and pretend that he should have stayed at UF for less money, blah, blah.

I think, however, someone should have mentioned to Billy that you should not actually SIGN anything unless you're really sure -- because now Orlando has all the power. I wonder what happened...?

It is certainly selfish of him to be essentially tying up two jobs right now. Florida can't hire anyone else yet and Orlando could sue Donovan for breach of contract if they feel so inclined. He was better off when he had a contract sitting in front of him in Gainesville but was taking his sweet-ass time to sign it. Immediately signing with Orlando only to scream "JUST KIDDING Y'ALL" three days later does not look good. Then again, what do I know?

My roommate mentioned that if what's-his-name from VCU doesn't become the next head coach at Florida (pending of course Orlando's allowing Donovan to get out of his contract, which I think they should make him stay, just for fun), then Jay Wright would be their second choice. I honestly cannot see that happening. His next job will be at the 76ers, then he'll get canned after five years as well and spend the rest of his career coaching for the Iona Gaels.

French Open update: Hewitt down two sets to Nadal, losing the sets 6-3, 6-1. At least he's trying though.

oh yeah, tennis is going on

2007-06-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't really commented on the French Open currently going on because it is the same story as every other grand slam: Roddick chokes early on (first round this year) and Federer and Nadal beat everyone. Actually, tomorrow Hewitt plays Nadal and I'd love to see Lleyton pull through and beat Nadal but it won't happen, who am I kidding? And if Federer wins then he'll capture the one grand slam that has eluded him (and the only slam Pete Sampras never won).

On the women's side...oh yeah, who cares?

Ultimate Stupidity

2007-05-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

There are some levels of stupidity that I cannot fathom.

Well Josh Hancock's father has exceeded all those levels and then some.

You may recall Josh Hancock as the St. Louis Cardinals pitcher who, last month, got shit faced and drove with a BAC of almost twice the legal limit while speeding, talking on his cell and not wearing a seat belt. Well, that didn't end well for Josh because he plowed into the back of a tow truck and died. Now Hancock's father is suing: Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood (the restaurant Josh was drinking at), the driver of the tow truck he crashed into, the driver of the car the tow truck was there to help, my unborn children, the strip club Josh went to three days before he died and the stripper who gave him the lap dance (OK, not the last three but you get the idea).

WHAT??

Okay, I get that his son died. At 29. In a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way. I get that. But it is Josh's fault and his fault ALONE. How does he connect his son's death to the car stalled out on I-64 or the tow truck driver there to help? Other cars had successfully navigated around both the tow truck AND the stalled car while they were waiting for the police (the law suit states: "were the police contacted?") They were on their way to the accident when the second, fatal one, occurred.

The law suit also states that: "The intoxication of Joshua Morgan Hancock on said occasion was involuntary."

The HELL it was. Yeah, Mike Shannon personally force fed him enough alcohol to raise his BAC to twice the legal limit then forced him into his rented SUV and put a gun to his head and said, "drive." In Vegas some guy bought me a shot that I didn't want, so I pretended to take it with the group and then turned around and spit it into the rum and coke I also wasn't drinking (it was the weekend after my birthday and I think I was STILL recovering). Not that hard to NOT drink. You can make the choice.

Dean Hancock said in a statement that the "facts and circumstances" of Josh's death "have caused great pain to all of Josh's family." As administrator of his son's estate, Dean Hancock said he has an obligation to represent the family on all issues, "including any legal actions necessary against those who contributed to the untimely and unnecessary death."

Let me count the number of people who contributed to the death of his son...let's see...carry the one...add four, OH YEAH, it was JUST HIM. Just Josh. He's the only person who contributed. Am I wrong here?

UPDATE: I am not the only person who feels this way.
The Rant: Hancock Family Lawsuit the True Tragedy
Suit makes a wreck of personal responsibility
Hancock lawsuit a sorry legacy for young pitcher

I am all about taking responsibility for my actions...usually...most of the time...when it is convenient...

But in all seriousness, this is one of those times when there is just no one else to blame.

missing the boat

2007-05-20T21:05:00.001-07:00

Earlier when I came home from dinner I was telling my roomie Brandon how I'd responded to an ad on Craigslist for a Sunday evening dinner group (hence why I was out to dinner). I figured it would be a great way to 1) meet people and 2) find some great restaurants in the area. He asked me what category the ad was under and I jokingly replied, "missed connections" because apparently there is a category where people post things like, "I saw you at the bar and you were hot." So, I decided to check out the missed connections section and it is HILARIOUS. Some actual ads (is posting this illegal? not like anyone reads my blog anyway):

Walking in Downtown Evanston -- You smiled at me and I caught you looking back while me and my friend were walking behind you around 7:00pm across from the Barnes&Noble. I'm a tallish white guy with short hair and a hoodie, you have brown hair, a pretty smile, and wore green pants.

Hot Guy Upstairs that threatened to have my car towed - w4m - 30 -- I can hear you walking around upstairs. Meet me for a drink.

Dominicks - Sat afternoon - girl in the green - m4w -- I'm normally not stunned by beauty in a "normal" setting, like the grocery store. But, you are the exception. You were wearing a green shirt, white shorts, but, most importantly, you knew how to work it. You, my dear, were oozing sexiness. Thanks for that. You probably know who this is. I know you were with someone so I had to respect that, otherwise I would've had to say something.

I wasn't aware that this type of thing existed until I was at a bar a few weeks ago and it came up in the conversation. I wonder if people ever respond to these?

a life less ordinary

2007-05-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

The Red Eye (extension of the Chicago Tribune is, I guess, the best way to describe it -- it is free and kind of like the SD Reader except it is a daily publication) had an article today about how Illinois is the MOST average state according to a study by the AP (based on analysis of data from the Census Bureau). What constitutes being an average state, you ask?

The AP ranked each state on how closely it matched national levels on 21 demographic factors,including race, age, income, education and the share of people living in urban and rural areas.

So, the least average state is West Virginia. And the third least average state or 47th on the list of most average states (have I lost you yet?) is good old New Hampshire.

I don't even know where to start: the complete lack of cultural diversity, the fact that we have to piggy back on all the pro-sports teams in Boston, the fact that the face of our state symbol crumbled to its death four years ago but we still use it for everything, I could go on for hours. So does this study prove that NH is literally the most boring place to live behind only West Virginia and Mississippi?

Trashing your home state is probably not a good idea though. And as much as I say I hate NH, it definitely has its good points -- the people are nice, there is no sales tax, cost of living is pretty reasonable, you can ski in the winter and swim in the summer and go hiking (if that's your thing, not mine). It is small enough so that you can, say, drive to Montreal for New Years because you're under 21 and sick of not being able to celebrate the right way. And no matter what, NH will always be home.

maybe it is time to let go

2007-05-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

So SI.com has a photo gallery up of the NFL's Top 10 Shakiest QB Situations and coming in at number 3 is Cleveland. They just drafted Brady Quinn and he's competing against Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson (who???) for the starting position. That pushes my good friend Ken Dorsey down to a fourth-stringer. I have sworn up and down for YEARS now that he's an amazing QB, alas no one with any decision-making power agrees with me. My friend Chris used to tell me, "well, if I had enough time to grill a burger in the pocket, I'd be a great quarterback too." Perhaps Miami's championship offensive line just made him look better than he really was. This is a very sad day for me.

Maybe, though, it isn't a sad day for Kenny. All he has to do is hold a clipboard and he'll make like 200x more money than me. Although one day soon he may be relegated to the CFL, AFL, AF2 or NFL Europe and THEN, my lovelies, I will not know what to DO. Perhaps he spends his time watching the film from that OSU game wondering what-if. He's certainly is not in a position where he needs to watch NFL film so why not re-live the glory days of yore.

ummm yeah, if you could just go ahead and STOP TALKING

2007-05-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this article on ESPN.com a little bit ago. I haven't been following tennis since the Australian Open since there is a rather large gap between that and the French Open, but it appears my favorite least favorite athlete (there's a long list here, starting with Maurice Clarett and ending with Joakim Noah) Rogie Federer is in a bit of a slump and has parted ways with his coach, who's-it-called.

"I'm definitely not going to take a coach for the French Open and Wimbledon because I know what it takes and I don't want anybody interfering with my preparation and with my tournaments," Federer said at the Hamburg Masters, where he has a first-round bye. I'm pretty sure he was actually just saying he doesn't need anyone's help because he is too good for pretty much everyone.

Dude. You're a good tennis player. WE GET IT, THANKS. Also, last week you lost in straight sets to a no-namer so SHUT UP!!! Homeslice needs a publicist -- the above sentence could be spun around to sound a lot less arrogant: "I'm hesitant to take a coach with me to the upcoming grand slam tournaments because it takes a certain amount of time to learn different coaching methods and I want to make sure I am in full preparation mode for these important matches." Much better, right? Uggh, I really hope he flames out in the first round of the French Open AND Wimbeldon. Would serve his ass right.

InnSane

2007-05-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

So, it is Sunday, I'm relaxing, I turn on the TV and out of curiosity I select Inn Love, you know Tori Spelling's new show on Oxygen. It was not worth sacrificing all those brain cells. It is basically Tori Spelling complaining about being nine months pregnant, but fear not my friends, Oxygen has picked it up for a second season so perhaps the tone of the show will change now that she has popped out her baby.

I figure if Tori Spelling can have her own reality show, why can't I be a published author, right?

ummmm...?

2007-05-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

Trev Alberts thinks FSU has less work to do than Miami to get back to the top of the ACC. Being that I know next to nothing about college football (did it confuse anyone else that Ken Dorsey won a national championship and went in the seventh round of the NFL Draft and Brady Quinn won nothing and went in the first round...have I already talked about this? Well I am still confused), I can't exactly rip good old Trev because really, Miami has been free falling from the ranks of the elite for a while now -- pretty much, actually, since they lost the Fiesta Bowl to Ohio State. I can just say I don't like that he picked the 'Noles over the 'Canes. At least this year they won't be playing each other the first game of the season in the biggest offensive let down ever.

Out of conference, Miami plays Marshall (yawn), Oklahoma (double yawn), FIU (keep your hands to yourself), and Texas A&M (might actually play a good game). FSU plays UAB (pleeeeeeeease), Colorado (are they even DI anymore?), Alabama (this will be a GOOD game) and of course, Florida in the last regular season game for both teams. I remember this past year actually rooting for FSU so Florida couldn't go to the national championship game. That didn't work out well for me.

Since I will be able to actually watch games this season, I am very much looking forward to college football.

about time

2007-05-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of Donovan McNabb. I think it is his sense of entitlement to that elusive Super Bowl title, just because, he's like an institution in Philadelphia and gives Eagles fans a lot to root for during the REGULAR season but then he falls flat on his face in the NFC title games (or his one SB game, which I survived watching with irate Eagles fans while rooting for the Pats) and sends his fans bitter from the stands to count down until the next season. But, in spite of all of this, in addition to a season ending injury last year AND the year before, he seemed surprised that the Eagles took a QB in round one of the draft.

Sal Paolantonio puts it bluntly enough: It always comes back to the money. In 2007, the Eagles will pay McNabb $5.5 million in salary. The following year, that number increases to $6.3 million. The Eagles hold an option for 2009, when McNabb is due $9.2 million. In 2010, he is owed a $10 million salary.

Let's assume that McNabb is the starter in 2007. That means this is an evaluation year. If McNabb plays well, stays healthy and takes the Eagles deep into the playoffs or back to the Super Bowl, he's most likely back in 2008. If not, the Eagles have no history of paying 32-year-old, injury-prone players who can't get it done for that kind of money.

The Eagles can survive without T.O. and they can probably survive without McNabb.

this is your SUV after you've hit the back of a tow truck at 70 mph

2007-05-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sure no one wants the "don't drink and drive" lecture from me, but come on now. Police have confirmed Josh Hancock had a blood-alcohol level of almost twice the legal limit at the time of his crash. He was also talking on his cell phone. While tanked off his ass. And then caused a fatal accident. (Police Chief Joe)Mokwa said cell phone records showed Hancock was speaking with a female acquaintance at about the time of the accident. Mokwa said the conversation ended abruptly, presumably when the accident occurred. That's creepy.

I'm not trying to put myself on a moral high horse here, but WHY do professional athletes (no specific names come to mind here J.J. REDDICK) think they are immune to this type of thing?

I guess there's nothing else to do in Iowa...

2007-05-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Local Markets, Ranked by Time per Visitor, March 2007: (Source) coming in at #1 with an average of over 40 hours per month: Des Moines/Ames. I guess that makes sense. I mean, what else is there to do in Iowa, especially after the Hawkeyes have been eliminated from (or didn't even get to) postseason play. Is anyone out there?? Can anyone hear me? Yeah, I need a life, so what?

nothing

2007-04-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

News just broke that Cards pitcher Josh Hancock died in a car accident early this morning in St. Louis. Now, I am not a Cards fan nor had I heard of Hancock prior to five minutes ago, but it still sucks. Since I was surfing the web anyway and first saw the story on Yahoo, I headed over to ESPN to see if they'd have more details but the story hadn't even broken there yet. Instead I see that the Patriots are going to probably acquire Randy Moss. Just what they need...T.O. Jr. I don't think he's going to want to share the spotlight with Tom Brady. That being said, welcome to Foxborough Randy Moss (but only if you are good). I wish I could get paid 9.75 mil to bitch. Then again, I'm not an especially talented wide receiver.

Speaking of being not especially talented, Brady Quinn was not the first overall pick in the draft, which is SHOCKING, however he did go to the Browns, who have Ken Dorsey, who sucks according to pretty much everyone, most notably my friend Chris. Maybe KD should just go be the QB coach at the U. He's never going to have a career in the NFL (sob, sob).

Also, total loser that I am, I started AND finished a book yesterday, The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld. First of all, it isn't one of THOSE books. It is fiction. She also wrote Prep, which is also brilliant. There are definite parallels between both books, without a doubt, and I can't help but wonder if one or both is semi-autobiographical. But everyone needs to read these books. Especially if you are, say, afraid of boys who like you (not that I am, just so we're clear).

someone sounds bored

2007-04-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

Before today, I had never heard of Baltimore announcer Gary Thorne.

Apparently he is claiming that backup Red Sox catcher Doug Mirabelli told him the now famous bloody sock of Curt Schilling was actually painted with ketchup as a PR stunt. (You can read the ESPN article here if you already have not.)

Are. You. KIDDING. ME???

First of all, I am not a Schilling fan. I think his pitching in game 6 of the ALCS was amazing (apparently that game and game 2 of the World Series are the games in which he painted his sock red to make it look bloody). I also think he is a complete prick (this is based on how he has acted towards members of the media who have then reported back to me, "hey, that guy is a jackass"). That being said, I don't think a) he has enough time to come up with that kind of PR stunt and b)who cares if he is bleeding or not as long as he wins which leads me back to a) - he doesn't have enough time to come up with that kind of PR stunt. P.S. -- didn't everyone see him grimacing in pain the whole time he was pitching?

I don't get it. I love Mirabelli's reaction: "What? Are you kidding me? He's [expletive] lying. A straight lie," Mirabelli said, according to The Boston Globe. "I never said that. I know it was blood. Everybody knows it was blood." ESPN needn't have taken out the expletive. I think it would have made the quote more entertaining.

No baseball player is going to admit to something being a PR stunt either, so even if it WAS (which it wasn't) no one would be dumb enough to tell a rival announcer about it. Come on now Gary Thorne. Clearly, you have too much free time on your hands.

The Boston Globe article is actually better. A few excerpts:

"You're kidding me, right?" Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein wrote in an e-mail last night. "I'm the GM of the team, not Jerry Springer. I couldn't give two [expletives] about what was on his sock, I care that we won the game. The rest, and Gary Thorne, is just noise." P.S. Theo is my future husband.

"I have never heard any such thing internally, and I refuse to believe it now," (Sox CEO Larry) Lucchino wrote. "It was a courageous moment for Curt Schilling and a glorious moment for the Red Sox, and it shouldn't be sullied with such speculation now."

Mirabelli quickly sought out Schilling in the clubhouse, and assured him he'd never said the things that were attributed to him. Schilling accepted his explanation.

Don't people have better things to do with their time?

on the fence

2007-04-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Rarely do I post anything about dating or my love life, probably because I don't have one, but you know the odds out there would say that at some point this would have to change. (P.S. In 40 yrs I am totally Bea Arthur's character from the Golden Girls, minus the getting knocked up in high school part.)

So I had two dates recently, one on Thursday and one on Saturday (different guys). This is a huge deal for no other reason than my fear of dating alone usually paralyzes me into having a basically nonexistent love life. The exactly one date I went on in San Diego was horrifying.

Date on Thursday was good. We met at a bar, had a good conversation, etc, etc, but I think we are on the expressway to "just friends," which is fine, I like friends, friends are good. I didn't feel any sparks and I got the distinct feeling he didn't either (he must be suffering some kind of brain damage, clearly...KIDDING people KIDDING).

Date on Saturday, I think, was better. Also met at a bar (different one) and I think we just had more in common. However, I am completely and totally on the fence. After the date I was perfectly happy about how it had gone and optimistic that there would be a second, but now I am just not sure. I seriously think it is 50/50. If he calls me and asks me out again, great. If I never hear from him again, oh well, I'll move on. So I figure if I am that on the fence to begin with, maybe it didn't go as well as I thought it had? I have no idea.

Oh and ladies, I got a new piece of advice yesterday from a friend of my roommate. Something about if you have to pursue a guy it is because he doesn't like you, otherwise he'd be pursuing you. In other words, he agrees with the entire premise of "He's Just Not That Into You." I think it is a valid point.

It is finally starting to warm up in Chicago. Yesterday it hit 80. Word. I cannot, however, say the same thing about the Cubs. And speaking of baseball, how about those Red Sox??? Back-to-back-to-back-to-back.

gun control por favor

2007-04-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

I am having a really hard time grasping what happened at Virginia Tech on Monday. We can all second guess for the rest of forever, but it won't matter. How could a student with a background of mental issues and hospitalization possibly pass a background check to purchase a gun? Please tell me because I would really like to know. Why weren't students notified of the first shootings until two hours later? I mean sure, the police were chasing a lead but couldn't SOMEONE have sent an email or advised students of a potential threat, SOMETHING? ANYTHING? I have no idea. To me it just makes no sense. I understand they couldn't have known what would happen, but even issuing a warning would have been better than nothing. I just feel so sad for everyone there.

Va Tech

2007-04-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

I can express nothing but sadness over what happened today at Virginia Tech. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone there...except the gunman, he can burn in hell.

I'm confused

2007-04-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

The Bravo network has greenlighted a show called Date My Ex, where recently divorced couples try to find mates for thier exes. Does that sound like a good idea to ANYONE???

“It explores relationships between couples and the fundamentals of a couple that has split up, what attracted them to each other in the first place and what other people find attractive about that relationship,” says Frances Berwick, executive VP, programming and production, Bravo.

Um yeah, so let me get this straight, you fought all the time and can't stand each other now? That IS attractive, sign me up!!

That being said, I am sure the show will be hilarious (in a bad way).

some pictures

2007-04-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

So I got around to uploading some photos from the drive. I was going to include some photos of the fab suite we had at the Palms, but really, who wants to look a pictures of a hotel bathroom (the greatest bathroom EVER, though). However, I will post our view of Vegas when we woke up in the morning:

We were on the 30th floor of the Fantasy tower.

Next, we have Lake Mead. My mom and I didn't realize that driving on this state road outside Vegas (heading towards I-40 east) would take us along this way, but we were sure happy it did.

The good people of the state of Nevada also left an important message on the side of the road where you can take pictures:

I am sure no one already knew this, so it is a good thing they have a sign here.

Next, the Hoover Dam:

Also very cool, also had never seen it. We couldn't get too close so that was the best I could do, but it was a nice little detour and I got to see some new parts of the country.

Speaking of new parts of the country, driving through AZ was BORING. New Mexico wasn't much better, but we got stuck in a major traffic jam on our way out of the Albuquerque. My image of this part of New Mexico was all cacti and mountains, so while stuck in traffic I snapped a picture that disproves my image:

After that, there really wasn't much to see (TRUST ME) so here is a picture I took from outside my new apartment:

I'd say that is pretty damn close to Wrigley Field. Half a block to be exact. So that's all from the grand adventure of moving. I tried to take pics of the Oklahoma City and Tulsa skylines but that didn't work out so well. Other that that, y'all have already seen grass and cows before, right?

um yeah no

2007-04-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it was 68. Today it is 33. Possible snow flurries later. ?????????

Other than that, am loving Chicago.

ahahahahahaha

2007-04-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the best part (for me at least) of last night's national championship game was when CBS showed both Urban Meyer and Jim Tressel as spectators when it was clear OSU would lose. So Meyer is smiling and loving live and Tressel looks like he's about to cry. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Sweet Home Chicago

2007-04-01T16:18:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it to Chi-town and I will have some interesting pictures of the journey posted in the near future -- there were really no exciting occurences. We missed the tornadoes in Oklahoma (DAMNIT) after almost getting blown off the damn highway in Arizona and New Mexico because the damned wind was blowing across the plains at 60 miles a damned hour. There was a slight mishap with the minivan I rented from Avis and even THAT didn't turn out to be very exciting, but I suppose after the few weeks of nonstop stress leading up to the move, boring is good. My apt, by the way, is awesome, and when I post aforementioned pictures, you will see just how close I actually am to Wrigley Field. I think I will have to upload them at work since I don't have Photoshop on this computer and they will need to be sized down a lot. Anyway. Apt is cool, roomies are awesome, I no longer have to deal with the headache of having a car. Life is good.

don't mess with me

2007-03-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

After dropping $1400 of my mother's hard earned money on my car to ensure it would pass its smog test, the final step in selling to (no need to insert his name here, not the issue), he decided to tell me he wanted his friend to take a second look at the car on Sunday morning. When I am leaving Monday. And I already sold it to him for less than half the Blue Book value. So I am barely breaking even. So I told him no. No his friend can't look at the car on Sunday morning. His friend can look at it tonight and I am going to re-post the ad on Craigslist. How do I know his friend isn't going to magically find something else wrong with the car (after I was already issued a Nissan dealership certified smog certificate and a clean bill of health for the car) -- I have done everything possible this week to prove my honesty, I will not be able to pay my mom back in the near future unless I can get a side job at Hooters in Chicago, I have been fighting with the fuckheads at North County Smog Center all week, had to bring it to a Nissan dealership to finish the deed when they proved incompetent one two many times, have been given every bad hand possible in the situation, and instead of telling me on Tuesday or Wednesday about his apprehensions he tells me on Friday when I am leaving on Monday.

So now the ad is re posted and he better hope it sells, because he gave me a deposit and he's not getting it back until the car sells.

And then there is the other issue with another person. Supposed to be my friend, probably isn't, has no idea how I feel, probably can't know, also causing huge amounts of stress -- basically I am a mess. He's been acting like a jerk off recently. I just don't have time for people like this.

sad state of affairs

2007-03-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Since Villanova bowed out in the first round of the NCAA tourney, I am supposed to be packing and the rat bastards at North County Smog Center in San Marcos, CA (never, never, go there) are fucking with me, I haven't had much to write about the past week or so. I don't care who makes the elite eight/final four, I just want the stress of moving to be OVER.

The car situation is too boring and complicated for me to elaborate, suffice it to say it has been a giant headache all week and I will be so glad when it is totally over. And maybe I can win the $1100 I now owe my mother on the nickel slots in Vegas...yes? no? maybe.

oops

2007-03-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

While cleaning out my room and packing I found unpaid parking tickets from 2003. Oops. Don't have much to talk about these days, my main focus is moving and dealing with all the inevitable stress, but I was paying just enough attention to revel in Duke and ND's first round loss in the NCAA's and mourn Nova's. And when in Wisconsin recently I guaranteed Marquette would go further in the tourney than Wisconsin because the Big Ten is overrated and not as hard of a basketball conference as the Big East. Guess I REALLY misjudged that one, especially because Marquette lost to a team in the Big Ten. This further solidifies I really don't know jack about sports. And I'm okay with that.

things that don't matter

2007-03-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

A word to the wise, if your mom is calling you at work in the middle of the afternoon, don't pick up and say, "did someone die?" because the odds are not in your favor, as was the case with me yesterday when I found out my grandmother passed away. She was suffering from Alzheimer's, very advanced, and a few days ago stopped eating, which my mother said was a symptom of something bigger (i.e. kidney failure). So, while it wasn't unexpected, it was unexpected. She'd been physcially healthy for a long time so it was unexpected in that sense.

So now Villanova basketball seems a lot less important. I am flying to Chicago on Saturday. Wake and funeral are in Wisconsin.